有在花镇退款成功的吗？如何楚楚动人地吵架？

 youzaihuazhentuikuanchenggongdema？qianwantongxuementichuwenti：yinweiwolejieyaohaohaodiliaorenwenrouqiaolixingganmirenxiuse，youzaihuazhentuikuanchenggongdema？danshilaomafahuodeqingkuangxiabianshiyizhibuzhubulizhia!

 haode，yinci “zenyangwumeidongren、xingganmirenjiaonen、wenrouhuopokeaidizhengchao”bianchengdahuoerdegangxingxuqiu。jinrijidahuoerchanshengyibenshu，chengdeshangfangzhibaolixingweigoutong、pingwenhemuguanxidegulanjing。gaishuweizhimingxinlixuezhuanjiamaxieer·lusenbaosuozuode《feibaoligoutong》，congjishuzhuanyeshehuixinlixueshijiaokaolv，pouxilezenyangzaiqimaodunshigengwenroudibiaoshuzishen、gengshanjierenyidilejiebieren，fangzhiyuelaiyuejiliedebaolixingweigoutong。

 taxiangxijieshaolezenyangzixiguancha、tihui、bixuheyaoqiuzheisigeyinsu，laijiejueqinmiwujianguanxilidefenqi。xiwangdahuoernulixuexi，liaowankaixin!

场景分析

weilegenghaodirangdahuoernenggougenghaodilejiezheibenshulidejichulilun，dajiajiulaipouxiyigepubianshili——

nigongchusantianhouhuijiale，fajuejiazhongbudanbeixiaogaolengnanshengaodezangluan，tahaiyikebutingwanyouxi，ninenggaizenmeban?

 yidingshijiejinquanlifashengbaozha，danuyisheng，“niweishenmebuqingsaoyixia!?jiuzhilejiewanyouxi!”ershulichushilefeichanghaodefahuoqiansibuqu，gongdahuoerwanshang。

1.第一步：恰当观查

 youyuhuajiemaodundezuizhongyaodebianshiranglingyifangganshoudaoniyaohuajiemaodundexinxin，yinci womenyaoxianjiqingxujidongdebicigoujianyigebuhanyoubenrenqingganyansegoutongjiaoliudeshineikongjian。liruzaizheileizhuangkuangxia，jiarunijuede“niweishenmebuqingsaoyixia?niyejiuzhilejiewanyouxi!”huoshi“tashibeiqiangjieguodeba，ruhezangchengzheiyimoyang”zheixiezheileihanyoucaixiang、zhizeyuqidehuabianshidianxingxingdebuzhengquedeguancha。

neiyaozenmecainengsuanzuoqiadangdeguancha?dajiajiuxuyaoquebaoxialieerdian：

第一，不必搞混观查和评价，便是见到的是啥就说些什么。

 liru“niweishenmebuqingsaoyixia，niyejiuzhilejiewanyouxi”jiudaidaolexintaibianshidianping，er“worenweijiazhongtailuane”jiumeiyoudaidaoyiqiexintai，bianshiqiadangdeguancha;

 dierdian，qiejiyanguodushi，bubiyidiandaimian，yejiushibunengyongniduilingyifangyiciduteexingshijiandetihuilaidianpingtazheigeren，erqiezaixushuguanchadeqingkuangxiajiangdiyingyong“……yizhi/conglaibu/zhi......”neiyangdejuxing。

 “niweishenmebuqingsaoyixia，niyejiuzhilejiewanyouxi”huoshi“tashibeiqiangjieguodeba，ruhezangchengzheiyimoyang”bianshigumingdiaoyudejuzi，lijiyichizehejifengdeyudiaoqukandai“nanyoubafangjiangaozang”zheijianshiqing。

 shijishangdajiayibanyingduizheileipingding、zhizedeqingkuangxia，tongchanghuichuxianqingchunqipanni，xuanyongzhenglunhehaijidefangfalaizuodaozizhengqingbaidemudi。zuipubiandebianshitiguoqu，liruninanyouhuiquchunihaozhangshijianyiqianluandiuyifudezheileisuoshilaiyunixiangaixiangsha。

 neiyanglaiquzirudixianghujifengjifeng，feichangrongyirangjushifazhanqushideyulaiyunancaozong，bicihuixunsuchanshengzhengzhi。zuiyoukenengdebianshinimenliangxianghuzhijianwadaoxianghuhenduonianqianmoranzhizhidexiaoshierlaixiangaixiangsha，yifayifabukeshoushi。

2.第二步：表述体会

 huanjuhuashuozaiwomenbuhanyouganqingyansedichanshuwandajiajiandaodekeguanshishiyihou，dajiajiukeyixianglingyifangbiaoshuzishendetihuile。zaiqinmiwujianguanxidefenqichulizhong，biaoshutihuiyouyiyubianruanlingyifangdebumanqingxu，shigoutonggengweichangshun。

 yibanyi“worenwei……”weikaitoudejuxingquanshihanyouzishenzhuguanxingdepengjizai，erdaiyou“kaixin、jiaolvqingxu、danxin、xiaochen、kuijiu、nanshou……”zheileiqingxucidejuxingzeyibanshizaibiaoshutihui。

 dajiahuanshijiadingdajiachuyukaishideneileichangjingdangzhong，tihuiyinggaishi“jiandaozheizhongwoyoudianerbugaoxing”/“jiandaozheizhongwotingxiaochende”zheizhong，hanyouzishenshishajuededekeguanxingmiaoshu，wanquanliaodeshizishendezhenzhengjuede。erbunengshi“nineimelan，wohenbugaoxing”zheileihanyoudianpingtarendeyuhuiha～

jilao，zheiliguanjian：zhiliaozishenjuede，buzhishelingyifang。

3.第三步：察觉自己的必须

 yejiushiwenyiwenzishenzenmehuiyouzheileitihui。sisuoqingxi，erqiebiaoxianchulaidajiabugaoxingdeyuangu，neiyangcaikeyijinyibudijiejuefenqi。

 fanhuidajiakaishidechangjing，wenyixiaziji“dajiaweiheyaoyouzheileinaonu、bugaoxingdexintai。”shiyouyudajiazhuzhongganjingzhengjie?huoshigongchutaileile?errangzheijianshiqingbianchengdajiadedaohuoxian。

 sisuoerqiehelingyibanbiaoshuqingxizishendeyaoqiuyihou，dajiajiukeyineiyangjitashuodao“jiazhongkanshangquyoudianerluanni，wogongchuhuijiajiaoweilei，wohenxiwangwomenliangxianghubawodejiayuelaiyuejingjingyoutiao，yinci rujinwoyoudianerbukaixin。”neiyangcengcengdijin、heqinghelideshushuofangshi，gengfeichangrongyiranglingyifangjienanibugaoxingdezheiyikeguanshishi。bixudeqingkuangxianizaisagejiao，kenengnanpenghuilikeqilaizhenglifajiabianhuixiangshangfatiaoyiyang。

4.第四步：明确提出你的请求

yejiushizailizhidemaixiafubileneimezhangqiyihou，nizongsuannenggouquelidibiaoshuchunidaodiyaoxiangshitaganshenmele。

 keshi，mingquetichuyaoqiudeqingkuangxiayaoliuyizunxunzheisangecengmiandeguize。diyibianshiyaojiangyaoqiubiaoshudedeshijiyuehao，zuihaoshishaoyingyonghanhubuqingdeciju。lirudoukeyi、suiyizheixie。jiarunanyoudoubumingbaiwomenyaonaxie，neizennengkaiqidajiadejiedini?

 dierbianshizaimingquetichuqueliyaoqiuyiqian，yaoxiantanjitihuiyuyaoqiu。jiarunihaohuaibufendibianshuorangnanyouzuoshenmefeichangrongyirangnanyouyilianmengbi。huanshifanhuiganggangdeqingkuangdangzhong，nizhijieshuo“niweishenmebuqingsaoyixia?”bianhuirangnanyouzhangerheshangmobuzhetounao。jiarunijuede“jiazhongkanshangquyoudianerluanni，wogongchuhuijiajiaoweilei，wohenxiwangwomenliangxianghubawodejiayuelaiyuejingjingyoutiao，yinci rujinwoyoudianerbukaixinni。niwanerwanzheibashoujiyouxinenggouyuwoyiqizhenglima?”jiuhuigenghaoxuduo 。

 disanbianshiganwanjidenibiaoshudeshiyaoqiuerbushizhiling。jiejuekunnandefangfayouhenduo，yongxintaimianruandefangfajiejuejiubimanhengwulidefangfahaodeduo。liru“nenggoujiwodiyixiashuima?”shiyaoqiu，lingyifangnenggouzuohaikeyibuzuo，jibian buzuoyebuhuiyounaxiebuliangyingxiang。“bangwoshui!”queshiyigezhiling，jirendejuedebianshiyidanbeizhilingfangmeiyoujinxingzhilingbianhuibeichuanchuzhilingfangzhizehuochize。

心态基本建设

 youzaihuazhentuikuanchenggongdema？jinguanzheitaokexuefangfalunkanshangqujianyi，keshizuoqilaiquehenrongyitarucuowuguannian。dajiajiuzaishuojizhuweitongxuemenzhuzhonghaoduogefangzhiranggoutongtarucuowuguannianxintaijibenjianshe。

1.bubishehuidaodepingding

 shijishangzaidajiapingshidegoutongdangzhongchangchanghuichanshengyidanlingyifangdejiazhipanduanyudajiafanguolai，dajiabianhuijuedelingyifangcuowudezhuangkuang。zheijiushishuobailedeshehuidaodepingdingle，neiyangxianeryijianbushiduide。ruguowomenxiwangqujiejuezheiyifenqi，dajiajiubukeyiyishehuidaodepingdingdefangfalaimingquetichudajiaderenwei，neiyangdefangfahenyoukenengyinlaichengjian，rangfenqigengnanjiejue。

2.不必开展较为

 zhengchaodeqingkuangxiadajiajiangchanghuiyong“nikankantarennanyou……，danni……”、“nizhiqianbushizheiyangde，worenweinizhiqiangeng……”zheileijuxing。yongzheileifangfamingquetichudejianjiefeichangrongyizaoshoulingyifangdeshensushuhuoshihaiji，neiyangzuobudanmeifadadaoxinyuan，yeyouhenyoukenengyinqizhengzhi，huihuaidajiaguanxi。

3.不必逃避义务

 yingduimaodundeqingkuangxiadajiahuiguangfanxiguantaobiyiwu。liru“nirangwosilexin”、“nitaiyaowoxinhanle”zheileiwuxuduoyanyuanyindeduobi。yiqieyiduanqinmiwujianguanxizaochengdenantiyeyidingshibicixianghudaozhide，jinyoushuangfangjijidijiejuenanti，fenqiyehuidedaojiejue。