挑选婚姻中的另一半有多重要

 tiaoxuanhunyinzhongdelingyibanyouduozhongyao？tamengangkaishilianaideshihou，bicigandaoqiangliedeganqing，lianaicaigangkaishi，liangrendouyoujiehundekenengxing40%。☞ hunyin chuxianweijizenmeban?ruhewanhuihunyinganqing?

一、挑选婚姻中的另一半有多重要

hunyinshiaiwohaishiaiwo? zheisihushidajiajingchangzhenglundehuati。

 hunyinchuxianweijizenmeban?ruhewanhuihunyinganqing?lianaishinannvshuangfangde“ai”he“jiehundekenengxing”dechayi，tantaoleduijiehunchijiuxingdeyingxiang，yexuhuiyouqishi。

 gaiyanjiuyu2013nianfabiao，yanjiuzhezaimeiguobinxifaniyazhoucaifangle168duixinhunfufu。 fenbiecaifangzhangfuheqizi。 yanjiurenyuanshouxianrangfangwenzhehuiyiqilianaishifashengdeyinxiangshenkedeshiqing，congtamendediyiciyuehuikaishi，huiyibingshuomingtamenjiehundekenengxingshizenyangjinhuade。

 xiaoxindian，zheilijiehundekenengxing，shifangwenzhe“zijixiangde”he“lianrenshizenmexiangde”zuhezonghepanduande。 fangwenzheyongtubiaomiaohuilelianaiguochengzhongzijiganshoudaodejiehunkenengxing。

 rangwojugelizi。 jiashexianzaiyouxinhunfufu。 zhangfushidalier，qizishibabala。 dalierhebabalafenbiexiangqilaile，

 womenrenwei，wa，tamengangkaishilianaideshihou，bicigandaoqiangliedeganqing，lianaicaigangkaishi，liangrendouyoujiehundekenengxing40%。

 ranhou，zaidisangeyue，tamenyiqiqulvxingle。 neicilvxinghou，dalierjuedehenkaixin，yiqiedouhenshunli，tayougandaoqingxujidong，juedebabalahelianggerendouyiyibanyishangdegailvjiehun。 danshi，zheicilvxing，babalaganjuebushufu，lvxinghou，lianailedisangeyue，ganjuejiehundekenengxingjihubianchenglingle

 zhihou，zailianaiguochengzhong，dalierhebabalazongshiyibutongdeganjueganshoudaotamenganqingdeweilaifangxiang。 liru，zaidiwugeyue，babalarenweiliangrenhuijiehun，dandalierrenweiliangrenjiehundekenengxingzai20%yixia。

 laifangzhehuawanhuayihou。 yanjiurenyuanxiangtamenxunqiuhuiyi，lianaiyibandeshihou，tamenjuedezijiyouduoaiduifang? zheizhongganqingyoubumingque、buzhidaodefuzaganqingma? ganqingzhongfashengchongtudepinlvshiduoshao?

 ranhouyanjiurenyuangenjuzhangfuheqizidehuidajisuanlelianaidejinzhansudu(yejiushishuo，jiehundekenengxingcong25%shangshengdao75%hualejigeyue)。 zhongsuoshuqingjie，duigainianshejizhongdeliangtitijijinxingfenxi

dayue14nianhou，yanjiurenyuanzaicibaifangfufu，kanshifoulihunle。 168duifufuzhong，56duifufulihunle。

qici，yanjiurenyuanfenxileshuju。 neime，rongyilihundefuqishishenmeni?

wuluntayouduoaita，wuluntayouduoai，huozheta/taganqingyouduohao:

1 .fuqizaijiehunqianaiduifangdechengdu( depth of love )chajuyuedalihundekenengxingyueda。

 2 .lianaishuangfangganshoudaodelianaijinzhansuduchajuyueda，jiehunhoulihundekenengxingjiuyueda。 hunyinchuxianweijizenmeban?ruhewanhuihunyinganqing? (liru，yifangjin2geyue，ganjuejiehundekenengxingcong25%shangshengdao75%，lingyifanghuale20geyue)。

 zaizhenggelianaiguochengzhong，duilianaishuangfangganqingliudongdeyucechajuyueda，hunhoulihundekenengxingjiuyueda。 (yejiushishuo，lianggerenhuadehuabuyiyang)

 neime，ganggangtanlianai，kenenghaihenshuxi，biciyoubutongdeqidaihaishizhengchangde，danshibeiwendao，jishilianaibianzhangle，youbutongdeqidaiyehuigengjiaweixian。

答:是的。

 yanjiurenyuanjianglianaidezhenggeguochenganshijianpingjunfenweisibufen，jieguobiaoming，zailianaideqianbanduanshijian，lianaishuangfangganqingfangxiangpanduandefenqiyuhunhoulihunfengxianwuguan。 danshi，zailianaidehoubanbufen，lianaishuangfangduiyuganqingliudongdepanduanyuemingque，jiehunhoulihundekenengxingjiuyuegao。

 yanjiurenyuanrenweihunyindewendingduzailianaishiyoujixiang。 yanjiurenyuantidaole“sharedrealitygroundedinexperience”zheiyifeichanghexindegainian。 jiyulianaishidekeguanjingyan、tiyan，lianaishuangfangduibicideaiqingjibenxiangtong，ganqingliudongyouzhebijiaoyizhideqidai。 hunqianzheifenaiyuqidaideyizhi，tigaoleweilaihunyindewendingdu。

 xuduorenshuoaiqingshimangmude。 lianaizhongderenyoushiguoyubiaodaziji，yanshizijidequedian，qipianziji，buyuanchengrenduifangdeliegenxing。 danshi，zaihunyinlilunshang，hunyinshihuanxiangdehuimieguocheng。 jiehunhou，lianaishi“yanjingxiale”dexiangfahuibeigengxianshideganjuesuoqudai。

yinci，hunqianjiuyouxiangduiyizhideaiqingliudongjingyanhepanduan，weiweilaidehunyinshenghuodiandingjichu。

 ruhepeiyangzheiyangdeshared reality? yanjiubiaoming，zaiyiqiduguohenduoshijian，tanchengditanluntamendeganqingdeqinglvhenrongyiduiganqingdexianzhuangheweilaiyouyizhiderenshi。

 rendesixiang、jingyan、ganqingbenshenbuduanbianhua，shared realityzhishitongguojiaoliulianxizaiyiqi。 qinglvhaikeyicong“xiaoji”taolun(“xiaoji”discussions )zhongshouyi。 yixiangyanjiubiaoming，yiduiqinglvjijitaoluntamenganqingzhongchuxiandewenti，hunhouhunyinhuigengjiaxingfu。 yinci，goutongnenggouweichiduilianren、fuqiganqing、xianshidexiangduiyizhidelijiehepingjia，tigaohunyindewendingxing。

 yixiangdao“yishurensheng”decaifang，zhujunjiuwenwangzhiwenxiangzhaoshenmeyangdenvhai。 wangzhiwenshuo:“woxiangzhaoyigesuishisuididoukeyishuohuadedongxi。”

lunwensihumeiyouhuidabiaotidewenti。 qishiwohuidale。

 ainideren，ainideren，douyaoaitongyigeren。 huozhe，lianaidechuqi，sheiaisheiyidiandouwusuowei。 zhangjiuyilai，nimenjiyudeai，ruguoheshouhuodeaiyiyang，neishide。 juedeyouxiangdangyuqigudeaiqing，haijideliaotiane。 dagaishisoulmate (linghunbanlv)deyisiba。