拯救婚姻，心态专家得出的九个启示

阅读推荐：英国某数据调查报告，女士在30岁之后离异，二婚的将会只能60%;假如是超出40岁离异，二婚的占比降低至40%。

 bingqie，buguannanrennvren，erhundequntidiercihunyinde90houlihunjiangzuodao60%zuoyou，erhundemanyilvyuanyuandixiaoyuchuhun。yinci，yulaiyuduodexintaizhuanjiazheyanyuwanjiuhunyindekexueyanjiu，xiaojielehunyinyizhizhongpubiandejiejuehunyinweijidecuowuxingweibingdechulexiangduidewanjiuhunyindejihuafangan。wanjiuhunyin，xintaizhuanjiadechudejiugeqishi。laogongjianjueyaolihunruhewanjiuhunyin?hunyinjiatingzixunzenmeyang?

挽救婚姻启示1.期待处理婚姻危机的一方不必觉得自身太委屈

 zaishizhijinkouxunsuhunyinfangfadejiaodayoudianzhiyijiushishuodanfangmianzhudongjingong，xiangfangfachulihunyinweiji。zaixuexipeixunzheiyixinfangshidequanguochengzhong，youdenvshiduizheiyifangshizishen bucaiyi，keshijuedezishenbenlaijiushishuoweijideshouhairen，zaijijixunzhaojiejuekunnandejihuafangan，shifouduizishentaibuheli，rangzishenshouqi?

 hunyinzhuanjiazhichu，zaishizhijinkoujingyingtuanduiyaogenggairendejiushishuohunyinguanliande“laotaozi”，zheileilaodexingtaiyishihegerenxingweifangshigengshihunyinweijidedaohuoxian，yidingyaoyouzixinxingenggaiyuanlaideqianjiafangshi，yiyizhongjijizhudongdexintaihefangfadandalumianduiweijisifudehunyin。

 zhiyinweinizishenjuedehunyinzhenduinitaiguanjianle，zhenduixiaohaidekuailechengzhangtaiguanjianle，youyigerennenggouxieshoubingjianyishengshizuiweiguanjiande，jiuyingdangzishendulisikaozheileifangshi。zhenduixiwangdezongtimubiaolaijiang，chengdanzheizhongxiaobiequhuanshizuigaide。jilaoneiyangyidian，zhinengjijigaibianxianzhuang，cainenggoujijibawohunyindeyunshi。

挽救婚姻启示2.请亲戚朋友干预反倒愈来愈糟

 feichangyibufennvshizaihunyinweijilailindeneishihou，caiyongbuduanzhaoqinqipengyoushushuodefangfa，jieguofandaoyulaiyuzao，tashizenmehuishi?

 juhunyinzhuanjiatuandui，zheileiqingtucujinzishenzhenduifuqiganqingyufayouchengjian，yibianyouyibiandishushuo，jianglingyifangdegezhonggeyangxingweiguinaweijijidehexuyide，suoyoudenantiyuzishenmeiyouguanlian。quanbudejiyilishijishangdouhuibeixintaisuocaozong，buzaibaochiqingxing、bulizhideneishihou，jiyiliyezaibangzhu“sahuang”、xiezhu“lieshi”yifangjiaqianglingyifangde“eliexingjing”。

 zaizheizhongbukeguanxingdexinxineirongjutizhidaoxia，najiaqinqipengyouhaihuibupianxiangqingtudeyifang?yincibangnizhengtaolingyifangfandaocushihuoshangjiayou。huoxu，beizhengtaoyifangdepianjizhuyaobiaoxianyouhuibianchengxinfenqidezhengming。

挽救婚姻启示3.不必尝试婚姻出轨淡化婚姻危机

 youneiyangyigenvshi，tazailaogongchuguoliuxueqineiyihunwailiandanhuahunyindeweiji，jieguotajindaoneiyangyigecuowuguannian，hunwailiandereqinghelinshideyouyueganbingbukeyikaolvtazuihoudebixu，jieguoyiwanbidiyicihunyinweifuchudaijia。zheiyishilixianeryijianbiaomingneiyangyigenanti，bubichangshihunyinchuguidanhuahunyinweiji。

 hunwailianzishen jiushishuozhenduiyijingzaoyuweijidehunyindeyizhongfouren，zaizheileiqingkuangxia，suozuodeyiqiedoubutaikenengwanjiuhunyin，haowuyiwenhuijiazhongweiji。hunyinyulianqingzaishizhishangdebuyiyangjiushishuohunyinshipingpingdandanbingqiebixubicihuxiangfuzerende。

 jiarucongfanguolaideshijiaokaolvdaohunyinchuguidenanti，zaoshousunhaideyifangyingdangguanniandao，zheijiushishuohunyinweijideyigeshujuxinhao，yueguideyifanghaowuyiwenzaihunwailianzhonghuodelefuqijianquefadeqingganhexuyoudezhongshi。zheiliyingcujinzishenkegumingxinganshouzishenhunyindequefahebugou。

 yiqiehunyinyemeiyouxifa，benzhibutaikenengmeiyitiandouzhenzhenqieqiede，fanhuipingpingdandanzhongdehunyinquanshizaixiaochaoxiaonaozhongduguoyigede，hunwailianbutaikenengbianchengfangfuji。

 jiarugenjuqinfen，lingyifangqipanzhongguijiazhong，neimajiuyingdangjitamenyigejiyu。shishishang，yigebaozhongjiazhongderentongchangzaitaguoyiduanxiapoluzhihougengweiaixiyuanxiandejiazhong，tahuijuedezishendelaoposhishishanggengweinannengkeguideren。baorongta，jitamenyigejiyu，jiunenggouyouzhecishengdehunyinzhudaoquan。wanjiuhunyin，xintaizhuanjiadechudejiugeqishi

挽救婚姻启示4.不必仿效他人的方法处理婚姻危机

hunyinquanweizhuanjianeiyangquanjiezaoyuhunyinweijidenvshi，dangtamenzaitiaoxuanjiejuekunnandefangfashi，bunengfangxiaobierendefangfa。

 youyumeiyigejiazhongdezhongleishibuyiyangde，meiyouyimoyiyangdefenqi，henjianghuiyouyizhongfangzhisihaierdebanfaquejinjinbuyiniyiren，yincizenyanglejiezijihunyinnaizhishilianqingneishihoude“meihaoshiguang”kanqilaihenbixu。

 zishende“meihaoshiguang”zangyuzaizishendeneixin，zhinengzishenzuiqingxi，fanfushixing“meihaoshiguang”shidegerenxingwei，jiuzaoyimaikaizizhushixunsuhunyinyizhidediyibu。

 youyuzaizheizhong“meihaoshiguang”libian，nideyouhuoliheyoudianchongfenfahuidehanchanglinli，zhuyaobiaoxiandeqizhinvrenqiexianshu。bingqiezheizhong“meihaoshiguang”gengshihunyinweijilibiandeliewai，suiranrujinzheileiliewaiyuelaiyuedi，keshitashijishangjiushishuochulihunyinweijideqidaisuoshu。

挽救婚姻启示5.不必尝试找寻婚姻难题的是和非

 zaishenghuoqijudangzhong，youhenduozaoyuhunyinweijidefuqidouhuihuxiangmaiyuan，guijiuyulingyifangjiangmaodunjihua，erqiechangshizhaoxunhunyinnantideshihefei，jiangqijiejuehetianbu。shijishang，zaixintaizhuanjialaikan，zheileizhaoxunshihefeidezuofabudanshitulaowugongde，bingqiehaihuijianghunyindefenqikuodahua。

 hunyinzhongzuipubiandenantijiushishuoposhuopoyouli，poshuopoyouli，shijishanghunyinzhongbenzhijiumeiyoushihefei，suoyourendegerenxingweiquanshiduilingyifangdehuifu。jiarulingyifangdegerenxingweiheyuyanshipianjide，zheileihuifujiubianweileyizhonghaiji，zheibanfanfu，shenxianliangjihua，zhidaobicishenxinpibeiyijing。

挽救婚姻启示6.不必忽略冷暴力的伤害

 youdefufurenweilengbaolihuoshiliangdifenjujiunenggoujiaomiezhanzheng，quebuzhidaozheileixiaochendelengbaolizongshijiajuweiji。youxierenziyiweishibaozheng100%deqinfen，keshilian1%deshouyiyemeiyouhuode，yincituishouyiyu，yanfangsishou。lijingquanweizhuanjiadejiedu，fangweiguanniandaozheileilengbaolibuduanxialai，tongchangbizhengzhidepohuailiyeyaoda。

 lengbaolideshichangqianjingtongchangshishiluo，sheiyeburongyinizaiyiduanshijianneihaohaodisisuohunyindeweiji，fandaohuisichuliudang，lejiezijideshiyongjiazhi。wanjiuhunyin，xintaizhuanjiadechudejiugeqishi

挽救婚姻启示7.离异对小孩的损害远远地比父母们想像的要高得多

 juhunyinzhuanjiatuandui，rujinxifangguojiadeshehuixuejiadouhuijijizhudonghaozhaoyouxiaohaidejiazhong，nengbuliyihuanshibubili。youyuzaixiaohaiyanzhongfumurutongtaiyangshengqiheluoriyiyangchuntianran，jiaruzaitamenbudadeneishihou，fumulihun，haowuyiwenshiyijiantiantadixiandeshier，bianchengtamenxinlishizhongdeheidong，wufawanhui。

 lihunzhihoudefumujiarutongshierhun，zheizhongxiaohaiyouyaoyingdui2gemamahebaba，zai4gefumulibianxunzhaojunheng，zheizhenduitamennianyoudenianling，queshishiyizhongjianxin。

 tamenzhongdeyixierenjiangyongyishengqudenghoufumudezaihun，suiranfumuzaoyifenbiechuanglijiazhong，youxierenbaojingcangsanghaibaocunzhezheiyilixiang，zheileidenghounaizhihuibuduandaotamenxingmingdejieshu。

挽救婚姻启示8.找寻积极主动的矛盾

 weishabierenlaikan，youdefuqidadanaonaoyibeizinenggouguodezhenxingfu;fanguolai，youdejiazhongchangchangyihemuyulengbaoligengti，meiduojiuquezoulaidaohunyindebianyan。juhunyinzhuanjiatuandui，daliangdejiazhongyingdangdongdejijizhudongdemaodun，zheihuoxushichulihunyinweijihejianqinghunyinfenqidemiaofang。

 jijizhudongdemaodunjiushishuozuihoujieguomeiyouduibicidaozhijudadesunhai，jinjinyizhongmengliedemoheqifangfahegoutongjiaoliufangfa，maodunzhihoufandaochulilehenduonanti，tigaolehuxiangdeqinggan，youliyubicidezhangwo。

 yeyou，zaizheizhongjijizhudongdemaodunlibian，fufubicizhenduilingyifangdetingzhanshujuxinhaoguanchahezhangwodejiaoweiqiadang。shiduoshaowenxindejiazaoyizhengshilexingfudehunyinzhongbukeyiquefazheileijijizhudongdemaodun。

 rujinyoudenvshizaizaoshangwaichuzhiqianyaobotong121zixunrexianqiwendeqingkuang，weicijueceyitiandeyizheyujiaotongchuxingjihuafangan，keshitamenquebuxieyuqingshihuibaolaogongxindeyitiandeqingxuheshenxinjiankangqingkuang。

 rujindabufenjiazhonghaoxiangmeiyouguanniandaohunyindegaokuanbimingandu，shijishangtayuanbiziranjielibiansuoyunhandeweijihezaihuodechanshenggailvyaogaodeduo。

 hunyinzhuanjiazhichu，bubiqidaiyigexiaodegenggaijiunenggoushihunyinkekeqiqi，yebubizhidingyigehunyinxingfudechouxiangxingzongtimubiao。youyudahuoerdoubingbushijiehun，henduoqianjiadeyantanjuzhizaoyijilingyifangchanshengshenshendidesunhai，zheileisunhaibenzhibutaikenengzaiduanqineineiqingchu，yinciyigeshijixingdetongdeduanqineizongtimubiaozuijianghuishixing。

 duanqineishijizongtimubiaobuyongguoduodeguanlitixishipei，yaoshiqidaigaijinhunyinweijideyifangzaiyigejudong，huoshishiyigexiaoyuyanshangzuochuyumaodunjihuashifanguolaidezuofa，jiunenggougenggaiquanjuxing。

 keshizheileigenggaibingbushiyichaoyixide，bixuxianglianqingshineibantixindiaodandizaijinyaoguantouguanailingyifang，baoquanlingyifangdezizunhequanyi，youshihounaizhibixufangqizishendequanyi，suiranlingyifangjianghuizaoyiduizishendaozhishenshendidesunhai。

 jieshuyu：hunyinjiuhaoxiangyiduanzhengxianbo，yougaofengqiyeshidichaoqi，danghunyinjindaodichaoqideneishihou，yaoduihunyinduoyifenzixinxin，diaojielianghaodexintai，jijizhudongzhaoxunwanjiuhunyindefangshi，jianxinhunyinhaihuimairuxiayigegaofengqi。

 keshideshixuduohunyinchuyudichaoqideneishihouxuduorenjiujuedetazaoyigaoyiduanluo。erhunyinzhongdewomendoushinenggouzhangwozishendehunyinde，yongyikeyunyinghunyindexintaizhuangtaibuyitajindaodidianjiujijizhudongdegaijinhunyin，jianghunyinweijimoshazaiyaolanli。hunyinjiatingzixunzenmeyang?