婚姻之中怎么沟通：一些话并不是沟通实际上是在攻

怎么经营婚姻? 人的言语，是一种十分奇妙的物品。它真真正正是令人难以割舍，由于它能够令人觉得心旷神怡，心旷神怡，还可以令人觉得凛冬将至，心灰意冷。

 shehuijiaowangguochengzhong，dequeyouderen，bawozheguorendegoutongsilu，tamenyongyoutiaoliqingxidefangshi ，zaiyubierengoutongdeguochengzhong，jinengqiadangzhunquewuwudizhuandazishendejianjiejitaren，tarenyeburongyixincunguyi。zenmejingyinghunyin?poxiguanxizenmegoutonghao?

 danyeshineiyangyizhongren，zaigoutongdeguochengzhong，changchangrenaoyuren，haibeibeishiwei「xianliaozhongjiezhe」，「jianmoshuidaoshougeji」detouxian。

 goutongxiediaonenglicongmingderen，daodiyounaxiedesilu，zuigairenmenquxuexipeixun?lingwaiyeshishenmehua，lijizaochengnibianweilexianliaozhongjiezhe?

不必一味地逼问，尝试认证别人的体会。

 renmenyongyoubibiedezhongqungengjiapingwenjiangudepengyouguanxi，chuangjianzheileiguanlian，bixuhuaxiaoxuduodeshijianhehuoli，danyidanjianlineiyangdeguanlian，keyijudadejiangdirenmendeguanlijuecechengbenfei。

 shexiang，zaigongzuozhongshenghuodangzhong，niyidanpengdaoyiqiejixujiejuedeshier，zuixianxiangqide，jiushinidebabamama、xiongmei、airen，denghoutamenjiyunixiezhuhejili。

 zheileiguanlijuecechengbenfeidejianshao，laizixianghuzhenxinshiyidexinlai，niwuxuhuaxiaoshijianhehuoliqudanyouzishenhuizaoshousunhai，fanguolai，niyaohuihuodelingyifangdexiezhu。

 danzheileipengyouguanxijianlihou，youyigejiaoweidadequedian，jiushishuolingyifangjianghuihuiyiguanzhunideweituoren，duinikaizhanbiwenshidexianliao。

neiyangdeliaotianfangshi，duojianyuqinglv，jihunrenyuan。

zaihunyinshenghuozhongdeshuangfang，jiaruyouyifangbingzheguanzhulingyifangweituoren，taiguobiwenlingyifangdehua，tongchanghuidebuchangshi。

举例说明。

yixienansheng，zaixiangchudeguochengzhong，changchanghuineiyangwenqidelaopo：

「niruheyoufahuole?」

「wohaineimeganle，niyaobulingrenmanyi?」

「shibushinibuganxiangxinwo?」

shijishang，nidenvrenbingmeiyoufahuo，taduinisuozuodeyiqie，doumeiyouweimandehanyi，tayehenxinlaini。

danbeinichangchangneimeyiwen，taneixinjiuyoudianernanshoule。

yincinanshengyuebiwen，nvxinggengweibuyuanbiaoshu，yuewuxuduoyan，wujiejiuyuezhong。

yincizhengchaobianweilengbaoli，lengbaoliyanhuachengfenshou，fenshouzhihou，bianchengmolu。

怎么会那样?

youyurenmenyoujiaoqiangdezishenfangfanyishi，juedezishenduishiqingdetihui，jiushishuojichengdekeguanshishi。

youmuyouyizhongliaotianfangshi，nenggougaijinzheileinanti?jinerfangzhigenjuaideguanzhu，bianweihendexingtongmolu。

这就必须选用认证式的聊天方式。

renzhengshixianliao，baokuolesangejichudeyaosu。

diyibu，xushulingyifangdegerenxingwei。

dierbu，liejuchuxianzheizhongzuofadejianghuibiaoshu。

disanbu，kenqiulingyifangzuochuhuiying。

仍然举例说明。

yiranshinanxingwennvxing：「shibushinifahuole?」

nenggouhuanweizheimoyangtichuwenti：

「wozheijitianfaguolaidexinxineirong，niyebuhui」(xushugerenxingwei)

「yinweiwogaobudong，shifouyiqianwofancuowu，renifahuole」(diyizhongbiaoshu)

「yeshijianghuishidahuoerbixubiye，nimangzhexiezuo」(dierzhongbiaoshu)

「danwozhendehenzaihuni，nikeyigaozhiwoshizenmelema?」(fachuqingqiu)

 renzhengshidexianliao，nenggoulijifangzhilijizhiyichanshengdebushiganhenankan。zhongjiuruguonishucibeishenpangderen，lejieneishihoudeqingkuang，huoduohuoshaohuinanshou。

下列这一句话，能不用说就干万不要说：

 yi、「suinibian(yi)」、「suibianni」、「suiyi(yi)」zheiyiliangjuchangbeiyonglaiguazaizuishang，shuochuzheijuhuashiqingxutongchangxianshixinxiweihuijuegenlingyifanggoutong。

 womenyiqicongganqingdeshijiaolaixiang，jiaruneijianzhengzhibuxiadeshibidingzhinengerzhongjieguo：bingbushitingtade，jiushishuotingnide。neimaruguonijiang「nisuibian」deneishihou，yanxiazhiyijiushishuojueceguoduanfangkaishouranglingyifangzhaotadehanyizuo。jiranjieguohuishizheiban，weihebukeyishizheyongbijiaozhichilingyifangdexintailaibiaoshuni?

 mingyanrendoulejie「nisuibian」zheijuhuashijishangyanzangle「wozaoyiyunijiangguo!zaoyiyunijiangguoshiba?」zheileizihaodeyuanhen。yexunizhenxinshiyibuganjuelingyifangdezuofashigehaodianzi，danninengshuoming，「jiarujiushiwo，wobuxiangneiyangzuo，dannijianchibuxiedehua，jiuzhaonideshiyixiaba」。dequeba，youshihoubuxulingyifangzishenzuokanyixia，tadequemeibanfalejiemangquhuizainali。genghekuanghuoxu，zhaolingyifangdefangfayekeyizuodaoyuanyideshijixiaoguo，nijinjintaixiguanxingzishendeluojizuofa。

 zhendaozheiyangdeshiqingsheinenggouzhuangzuomeichansheng，keshiliefengzaoyizaocheng。yinci“nisuibian”zheileihuanengshaoshuojinliangbimianshuo，huoxuyelejienijiangchuzheijuhuashishaxintaizhuangtai。

二、我不愿意谈这种

 youshihoutaolunyichujifademingancihuishi，mouyifangchanghuineimehuiying。wobingfeibulejieniyizhizaijiangzheijuhuashi，shibushiyizaichangshiyayiganzishendenuhuo，danneixinzonghuanshijinbuzhuxiangwen：nikeyiwennaxiejiudayingma!

 yibianrangbierenkeyigengweilejienideniantou，tiyinenggoulveweibiaoshudegengxiangxi，「xianzaiwohaoluan，bixuyidianshijianzaieryanzheijianshiqing，wohuaibeihaolahuijijigennitan。」xianshixinxi「xianzaiwobuyuanjiangzheijianshiqing(youyubixushijianshulizishen)」，erbingbushi「xianzaiwobuyuanjiangzheijianshiqing(woyebenzhilandelini)」。

 goutongxingguanshishizhongcunyoude，tashuolelingyifangdoubuyidingnenggaoqingchugenghekuangnibiexinlini?youhuajiushuohaome，jiarunishizhendanyoujiangguozhenhuaranglingyifangfangqini，niyizhizairujinzheiyizhuangkuangyiqianbuyinggaizaoyinaobuhaoyixieshanyidehuangyanzheizhongdetaibenlema?

三、懂我含意吗?

 「nidongwohanyilemeiyou?」「neiyangnitingdedonglemeiyou?」「nigaoqingchulemeiyou?」xuduorenxiaizailianqingyifuzhigaoqiangdemoyang，pangfufuzerenzaixunjieshuxiahuojiaoshizaijiaohuixueyuan。

 shijishang，lianqingguochengbicishigongpingde，jibianxuduorenmingbaizheiyidadaoli，kelianqingguochengzhongyiranfan。queshimeirenxiaitingni“dong?”zheiyici。

 dongyouzenyang，bumingbaiyouzenyang?quanqiushaolezaiyebuhuishishijieweiri，yincizaiyuniduidengjiaoseshuohuadeneishihouweichiqianxujinshen!

四、你要如何?

 youshihoulingyifangjuedebiequ，gangkaishibutaiganxinxianghupeihe、suisuinianlaotaotaohuozheleishuihaiyaoluoxialaishi，nideyiju「nijiujingxiangruhe?」jueduihuiranglianggerendeguanlianaihongbianye。nikeyixiang，lingyifangwangwangcaiyongzheizhongjinihenwukenaihedecuoshijiushishuoyouyuainiaidaowujikeshicaihuizheiban，jiarulingyifangzhenneng「ruhe」，wuxutashuozheijuhualeshiba?

 dangjiangchu「niyaoruhe」，yiweizhenizaoyisangshixiangyaoqulejielingyifangdexin，jinjinxiaochenyongxinbuzaiyandeyikouqiranglingyifanganfen，shubuzhizhongsuozhouzhi，ruozhenshixiangnaxialingyifang，shidefangfashijishangshiranglingyifangyigunaodijiang，shijiangguanglingyifangquanbujileideyuanhen，ruguoninengquanfangweibawojunqingshi，caikeyinidingshihoujiejueduice。poxiguanxizenmegoutonghao?