3招抵抗“心态饱和状态” 杀掉损坏婚姻的罪魁祸首

婚姻生活 怎么过?时下，去除例如法律法规、社会道德、义务等社会发展要素，造成婚外恋的一个关键的罪魁祸首就是说“心态饱和状态”。夫妇完婚两年、十几年，相顾无言长相守厮，另一方的一蹙一笑、一言一行早已了然于胸，因此彼此之间已不有新鮮的觉得，特别是在夫妻生活层面，越来越比不上结婚时那样沉醉和沉迷，一种浅浅的厌倦感刚开始萌发。

一、勿在围城中“迷失方向”

 jiehunhouxuduorenjinbuzhudijiangairenshizuoshengmingzhongzuiguanjianderen，tebieshizaishinvxing，feide“haodegenyigexiaoreneryiyang”，yinweibasuoyouhuolidouzijintouruji“lingyiban”，yizhinvxingzaihunyinzhong“mishi”lezishen，taiqinmiwujiandeairenzhongjianfandaohuixunsusangshixianghudelianaideganjue，zaochengxintaibaohezhuangtai。(hunyinshenghuozenmeguo?fuqizhijianzenmexiangchu?

 yingguozhimingxingshehuixuejiaweilian?hanjinboshiqiangdiao，zaifuqiganqingzhongweichizishen，tashixingfuhunyindejueqiaozhiyi。henduoren hunhoubudan“mishi”lezishen，yeqidailingyifangsheqizishen，guidingliangrenrongjinyigeweihunyinerchuangjiande“disanti”zhong，zheileiweileaierxunzhizishendezuofabushikeyongde：

 zuixian，taweifanleganqingdechuxin——liangrenzhuiruqingwangyouyubeilingyifangzheiyi“geren”suoxiyinzhu，mishilezishen，daziranyejiushiquduilingyibandeyouhuolihelianaideganjue。cizhi，fangzongzijihuishibicidoujuedeyayiganhejushu，youyuzhenshideaiqingshiyizhongkuanrong，yingdangjixianghuyisuiyi。

 yiner，tiyilinyuzaiwenrouxiangzhongdedajia，meitianhuafei10fenzhongshijianduju，bishangyan，huiyiweizijiliuyoushenyouganchudejiaose、dizhiheexingshijian，tajiuhaoxiangyouzhanglvyouzhongdedaolubiaozhi，bangnimingque“jiamen”。

 anshi“piexia”airen，zhihepengyoumenjuhuihuodong，feichangyaoduohenantongpengyoujucan，weicixiufu、tianbuzishendexingbiejiaosedongneng。

jianchibuxiexiezhouji，jiluxiazishendeaihao、xihaohemeiridesuojianjisuoyuan，doushiweichizishendehaofangshi 。

二、妙用“心态间距效用”

 kexuejiazuoleyigeshiyan：bashijizhiciweifangjinshiwaideyuanzishang。zheizhongciweibeilengdequanshenfadou，yibiangongnuan，tamenzhinenglaolaodidikaozaiyiqi。erhuxiangrongruhou，youyouyuchengshoubushangxianghushoushangdezhangci，xunsujiuyoufenbiefenlile。keqiwenqueshitailiangle，tamenyoupobudeyizaidukaozaiyiqi……

 aidetaijin，shoushanghuibeiciteng;gedehenyuan，youlengdebushufu。jiushizheiyangfanfudifenleyouju、juleyoufen，zuizhong，ciweimenzongsuanzhaodaoyigeshidudejianju，jinenggouhuxianggongnuan，youyizhiyubeilingyifangcizhong。

 ciweifazebiaomingdejiushishuoyurenxiangchuzhongde“xintaijianjuxiaoyong”。“xintaijianjuxiaoyong”tixinglianrenzhongjianyingdangweichiyidingde“xintaijianju”。jinnianlaixiandaidoushijiazhongshimaoyijubiaoyu：“balianrendangwairen”——dangwairenyiyangjiyuzhongshi、lejie;dangwairenyiyangxiangqizhanxianzishendezhihuixinghepiaoliang。

 rutongribenguoyiweishehuixuejiachangshuo：“lingyifangyouwentibubiyouyigaizheng，bubiwangneixinqu，eryingdangbaituochuqu，yibianzishenchucun，youshihoutongchangbixubazishenfengbishizaijieranyishendequanqiu，youshihouneileishishikekebuyubierenkaizhanqingganjiaoliu，jiubukeyilisuodangranderen，caizhenshibutaihao。”

 huoxu，jiazhongdedanduguanniandoubukeyiduoyi，bicitaidandudehunyinzhinengsunhuaierwujibenjianshe。fuqijianhaiyouyigezhiyouzijinengdongbukeyanchuandefangfa，yishiwenroudisayno，yaoranglingyifangzhujianrongruchengrenshide“yanchimanzu”，erbingbushiertongshide“likekaolv”，cizhaodeyongtuduibaohuxingaicengmiande“xintaibaohezhuangtai”tebieshizaiyoushenxiao，lieruhebushiyixiabianzhizaiqizhongzhiaomile。

三、感情必须冷藏，婚姻必须维护保养

 shijihunyinzhongdebeigaofangwubibaochiqingxingdilejiedao：huodeyigeren，buyidingjiuyibuyouyudafengchui!fufubicidouyingchixufengfuhetishengzijideshengmingpinwei，shizishenbianchengyibenlinglingyifangchangkanchangxin、“duniqianbiandoubuyanfan”de“haoshutuijian”。

 lianqingshi，nanrenhenvrenyibiantaohaolingyifang，douhuishafeikuxinxiangdaogezhonggeyanghuazhao，laoxiangrangxianghudeganqingshizhongdourudianbingxianglideshucaishuiguoyiyanglengzang，yiyang，danlianrenmenzuihouxingfukuailedeshizhijinkoutaruhunyindeshengdianshi，danaidejiqingyuxinxianjianjiandidexiaoshishi，xuduolixiangyuxianshideqifuyejiuhuituxianchuqu，faweieryoupingfanderensheng，jiqixianghulianqingshikeyiyanzangdequexian。

 yedoushizaijiehunhoulianggerendejiaowangzhongyilanwuyi，ruobulijimingbaidui“xintaibaohezhuangtai”dediaojie，duihunyinyiweihubaoyang，fuqizhijiandemaodunyejiuhuichuqu，qieyicibiyiciyaodaolaigengxionghen，ruobulijihuanjie，congguanjiandianjiangdashihuaxiao、xiaoshihuaxiao，hunyinjiujiweifeichangrongyichuxiannanti。

 xintaibaohezhuangtaishiyizhong“buandingyaosu”，feichangrongyishirenshenxianzhiyekujiedeqingkuang。yingduigongzuozhongshihoujuedeshentipifa、xinqingdiluo，meijingdacai，xiangxianglishuaitui，shiyongjiazhiganjianshaodeng，bingqiegongzuofangmiandezheileixiaochenqingkuangcongerhaihuiweihaidaoquanbudeyishizhuxingqingkuang。tixiandaoshenglixueshang，shijianjiulehaifeichangrongyidaozhihuanshangxinnaoxueguanbing、xiaohuadao、xiaohuaxitongdengjizhongshentibingzheng。

 xintaibaohezhuangtaizhuangkuangzaishenghuozhongjingchangkeyikandao，tahuixianzhuweihairendexintai、gerenxingweijishehuiyishixingtai，renmenzaiyunyingzishendehunyinshi，yeyingdangshikeliuyidaozishendexintaishifouzaoyilaidaoyigebaohezhuangtaideqingkuang，yidanlaidao“baohezhuangtai”delingjiedian，haiyaodongdeshidudeshifangchulaiyixie。

 hebuyongde“julichanshengmei”neiyangyigekanqilaifengsuxiguanqi，quenengjihunyinlengzangdefangfa，erbingbushiyiweidezaihunyinzhong，yibianlingyifangwanquandemishile“zishen”，weiyourangzishendexintaishizhongdouchuyuyige“banbao”deqingkuang，caihuijijideqianwanghunyinlitouliao，bahunyinzheiwotangyuebaoyuezhangyuebaoyuenongqiewushixianxiang!fuqizhijianzenmexiangchu?