花镇情感咨询给退款么？你们之间是一段好的爱情吗？

 qianyiduanshijiandewenzhangneirongli，dajiagendahuoertantaolezenyangzhongzhixiaishangzheixiebuzhengquederen。huazhenqingganzixunjituikuanme？youxiaohuobanmenzaihoutaiguanliliuyanbanliuyanshuo：“kanlewohaoxiangguannianlaidaodajiaguanlianzhongdexuduo nanti，dandajiayeshiyouguogaoxingdesuiyue。woyijiumeifafenbianlingyifangshifoubukenengderen，buqingchuyingbuyinggaiwanbizheiyiduanguanlian。”

 zaizheiyiqian，dajiayeshiyoujiedaoxuduo xiangjindetichuwenti：wozenmezhidaolingyifangshifoubuzhengquederen，younaxiefenbianguifanma?yincijinri，dajiazhunbeilaihedahuoergongxiangyixiegengweijianyue、shijidetiyi——tiaoxuanairenshibixubikaideyixiebuzhengque，xiezhunifenbianzishenshibushichuyuyiduankezhangqixingfazhanqushideguanlianzhong。

xubuxuyaohetazaiyiqi/zouxialai?

 bulunshichuzaibeixiongxingheermengmengbiledanaodehuanjie，huanshiyouyuzhongduochendianchengbenbuqingchuyingbuyinggaisheqishi，nidouyingdangjinliangjianshaoxialieliuzhongzaitiaoxuanairenshangdebuzhengque：

1.忽略一些另一方个人行为上非常值得警醒的一些起伏不定的“绿灯”

 xuduofenshouzhihouyuzaiguanlianzhongfushangderendoushihuishuo，“wogaijinzaofangkaishoude”、“qishiwozaoyizhidao”、“wozhishiyizhizaiziquqiru……”

 jiaruyigerendedeshenshangcunyouyixiebukedongyaodenanti，neimabuguantamenzaizaoqibeiyanzangdezaihao，yeyidinghuiyoupulushizhideguanjiandian。liru，tazaizhuiqiunideqingkuangxiazhuyaobiaoxiandeduinititieruwei，dannifajuetahuiduifuwuxiangmugongzuorenyuanbaibantiaoti。youliru，huazhenqingganzixunjituikuanme？nifajuetahuixiayishididuinisayixiekanqilai“wuguanjinyao”dehuang。

 ruguonizaoyiliuyilaidaozheizhongfeichangzhidejingxingdeshujuxinhao，zuibuliyingzuodebianshizhuangzuoshashiyemeiyouchanshengguo。lejienideairen，jitayigebiaoshudejiyu，bubizizhuguodujiedu，gengbubijienadamahuyandetuoci。

 xiaodegezhongbuliangxingweideshujuxinhaoyibandoushihuifazhanqushichengguanlianzhongzhongtedadenanti。jiaruniyizhiyouyibuzaihuzheizhonggezhongbuliangxingweishujuxinhao，jiuhenyoukenenghuizaiweilaiweizijichanshengdaliangdebubian。

2.挑选一个和自身沟通交流起來有艰难的爱人

 dajiameiyigerendoushiyouzishenchangyongdegoutongjiaoliushejifengge，goutongjiaoliushejifenggebuyiyangyebingbuyiweizhemeifaxianghulejie。zaihaiweijindaoguanlianqiande“zhuiqiuwanmeiqi”huorelian，2gerenqunzhonggengjiji、jijizhudongdeneiyifangnaizhihuiyouyidiaojiezishendegoutongfangshiquxianghupeihelingyifang。jinjin，yigerenzongtidegoutongjiaoliushejifenggerutongxingqingyiyang，nanyichanshengjidadegenggai。

 liru，niluojisiweikuai、jianghuayekuai，ertaluojisiweiman、jianghuaman;nixiaizhihuazhishuo，quxiangyumianduimaodun;ertayibanzishenxiaohuaxishouzishendexintai，ningkeweiquhaiyaojinliangjianshaomaodun;niyizhixiangganshenmejiushuoxieshenme，taqueyizhixianzishenbuduansisuo，youjieguoledeqingkuangxiazailiaochuqu;nixiaizishenpulu、tantaoduofangmiandehuatitaolun，ertazegengquxiangyubayixiemimideniantoufangzaixinshang。

 meiyitian，meiyigexiaohudongdounengfanyingchufenbiedegoutongjiaoliushejifengge，renherenzhijiancunyouchabieshiyiqiezhengchangde。nantishi，nikefourongruniairendeshejifenggehefangfani?

3.小看“不来电”这件事情的严重后果

 zheitingqilaihaoxiangyigejibenchangshi。dajiahenyoukenenghuibuyouzizhudiyilv：renweishenmehuitiaoxuanmeiyouganjuederenzaiyiqi?danzaixianshishenghuozhong，youhenduorenhuiyouyuyixieqitawaizaibiaozhun，huozheweilegenghaodibaochiyiduanbujinyoude、pingwendeguanlianeryouyihushizheileibinglixingxiyinzhudeqianque。

 zheixierentongchanghuiduizijishuo：“juedeshijianjiandipeiyuchude”、“qinggandaozuizhongdoushihuibianweineiyangde”。danshijishang，“juede”neiyangdongxi，zaiguanlianchuqi、zaishenghuoqijuzhongjiufeichangrongyidebeizhuyidao。yigexiangyong，qianyixiashou，naizhijinjinxiudaolingyifangdeweidao，bianhuihenxianzhudiganshoudao，zheigerenduinishibushijubeiyouhuoli——zishenduiyigerenshibushiyouganjue，bingbushiyijianbixu“sikao”caizhidaodeshi。

jinguanyouhuaxuebianhuabuyidingbianshizhenzhengdeaiqing，danyaoshimeiyouhuaxuebianhuadejuede，ganqingxianeryijianyebingbuhuiyou。

4.在政治上探险

 jiaruniyaohelingyifangzaiyiqi，keshidajiayiqiongerbai。neimaxianchuliqiandenanti，suihouzaikaolvdaobadajiadeguanlianfazhanqushidaoxiayigehuanjie，shigengweilixingdezuofa。zhongjiu，meiyoujingjifazhanzhichengdiandehua，dajiashinanyichuangjianyiduanxianghuderichangshenghuode。

 jiarunideairenshidajiajingjifazhanjiannandeyuangu，yejiushishuo，jiarunideairenmeifabaochiyifengongzuozhong、meiyoupingwenshouyi，erqietadoumeiyouhenqiangdezhuguanyinsuyaobaituokunjingdehua，neimayebubizhiwangdajiazaiyiqiyihouzheileizhuangkuanghuijianjiandigenggai。ziran，youshiyiduanguanlianhaikeyizaigangkaishishijiugaoqingchuhejienajianglaihenyoukenengjinyouyifangchengdanzhengqian。

 erjiarunizaizhengzhishangyilaiyunideairenrichangshenghuo，xianzaidajiaderichangshenghuoxunzhaochongzudezhijiezhengjulaibaozheng tahuiyizhineiyanggongfengni。suihounizaizijintourudaoyulingyifanggengweiyansurenzhendeguanlianzhong(liruhunyinshenghuo)。burandehuanijiushizaikaizhanyichangduqian，niyidingbuxiwangnijianglaidejingjifazhanquebaochuangjianzainizijideyunshishang。

5.忘记了再亲密无间的关联也必须界限

 shixianchuangjianhaobicidejiexianshiyijianburonghushideshi。nishiyigedandudegeren，nixuyaoyurenxiangchudeshijian。ninengyouhelingyifangbuyiyangdexingquaihao、yehuichuxianzishendepenyou、zishendeqinrenhebenrendexihao。ruguonijiangniderichangshenghuohelingyigerenjiehezaiyiqi，nishilianggerengongtongmingyundeyibufen。danlingwai，nirengxiangyounidezijuexing——zheiyidianbixubeibicirentonghezhongshi。

 jiarunibuzaiyikaishideqingkuangxiakaishehaojiexian，bansuizheshijiandebianhua，zheijianshiqingzongshiyuelaiyueyulaiyujiannan。dajiabuyongquanbudeshierdouhelingyifangyiqizuo。dajiayebuyongxiaiyiyangdedongxi。ruguonibixuzishendeshijianshi，niyejiuyingdangqujuyouguishuyuzishendeshijian。quedingnideairenchongzuwanqiang，keyiyingfunilinshibixuzishendeshijian。buran，bansuizherichangshenghuonichixubixufangqi、rangbubenrendeyixiang，nihenkenenghuiyuelaiyuexianxi。

6.不管不顾心里隐约的躁动不安

youjigezaitaguohunyanhongditandeqingkuangxiahaiganshoudaoxinlidehuangkongbuan?——henyoukenengbinixiangxiangzhongyeyaoduo。

 meiguoyijiaxinwenbaodaoxinwenmeitizhongdeshujuxinxiqiangdiao，youchaochuguobanshudelihunzhebiaoming，zaihunyandangrijiuyinyuejuedetamendehunyinshenghuoburongyiyouhaojieguo。slaterhegordondediaochawenjuanshujuxianshi，you45%derenbingbuxiangyoutamenwanhundeneiyitian，zhishizaiyoulvhezhengtuozhongduguoleneiyitian。

 yixiangyanjiufaxian，dajiazaiqianyishizhonglideniantou，yejiushishuoshipanduanli，jingchangkeyijingquedi“yucefenxi”chuyiduanguanlianjianglaidefazhanqushi。zheileizaiqianyishizhongdexintaiyoushihouyudajialijinglixingsisuopingdingchudeduiguanliandefuwuzhiliang、xingfukuaileduyoufeichangdadejinchu。rangrenchayideshi，zaizheileiyouchurudezhuangkuangxia，“diliugan”duizheiyiduanguanliandejianglaideyucefenxigengweikekao(mcnulty,olson,meltzer,&shaffer,2013)。