什么是冷暴力？为什么夫妻总是喜欢用冷暴力来解决问题

 zaoyulengbaolihunyingairuheshihao？liangrenzaiyiqixianghuyishizhuxingzhishi，yinweiyixienantizaochengmoca，yaoshimeiyouyongyouxiaodefangfajiejuekunnan，zhishixianglingyifangxuanxiebumanyi，bianhuirangxiaowentibianweiwenti。zheishi，fufuerrendachaoyijia，sheiyebukenrenrang，sheiyebukenlicaishei，zheijiushijiatinglengbaoli。shenmeshilengbaoli？yinweijiatingbaolilihungaizenmechuli？

 jiatinglengbaolishiyizhongshifenshoujinzhemodefangshi，fufuerrenyigewuyan，quexingtongmolu。zaoyulengbaolihunyingairuheshihao？xiangshuoshenmehuazhiyoubiezhubuyongshuo，xiangganshashizhiyouyigerenzuo。zheizhongganjue，haosiyanzhongbianmi，meiduodaiyifenzhong，quanshiyizhongnanao。lingwai，jiatinglengbaolizhenduifuqiguanxidesunhaiyeshifenda。yinweirenchuzaizheileiyayigandeshenghuohuanjingxia，jiumianbuleyeyougeshigeyangxiaochendeniantou，gangkaishicaiyifuqiguanxi，caiyilianren。yaolejie，fuqijiankeyipingwendejibenbianshibicixinren，meilexinlaihainalaideqingganni？shenmeshilengbaoli？yinweijiatingbaolilihungaizenmechuli？

 jiranjiatinglengbaolizheibanlingrenbushufu，duifuqiguanxisunhaizheibanjida，weishenmeyoudefufuhenxihuanyingyongjiatinglengbaolini？shijishangtashiyizhongxinzhibuchengshudefanying。ersiweideshenxinjiankangfazhanqushi，genjiatingguanxiyongyoulijideguanlian。

1、家庭关系

 gerenshehuixuejiaadeleshuoguoneimeyijuhua：xingfudenvrenyongershiquanyuyisheng，beijuderenyongyishengquanyuershi。yigerenzixiaodeshenghuohuanjing，huilijiweihaidaozheigerenjianglaideyisheng，baohanyurenxiangchu、gongzuozhonggongzuo、jiatinghunyin。

 youxieren，zaigenbierenxiangchushi，tongchangyouyuyijuhuahuomaosanzhang，naizhidongshounengli，daozhidejieguobianshibeizhoubianrenshengshu。youxieren，zaichuduixiangshibuzixin，yizhizaicaiyizishendegongzuonengli，daozhishijieguobianshibeiqinglvpaoxia。youxieren，yingduinantizhishi，yizhimaiyuan、danxin、fahuo，daozhidejieguobianshinantiwufadedaoyagenshangdechuli。

 jiarushencengciqukexueyanjiuzheizhongqingxubuwending、xingqingxinfuqizao、guoduoqingxubuwendingderen，jiukeyifajuetamendebabamamayouzheyiyangdenanti。zaoyulengbaolihunyingairuheshihao？zaizhennifuwanhedianqidejingdianzhuzuo《yuanshengjiating》zhong，kaichangjiujiangguoneimeyijuhua：youhaidebabamama，zhongduledexiaohai。jiatingguanxiduirendeweihai，jiuhaoxianggaosulushangchanshenglianhuaigaosuzhuiwei。shangyibeirendenanti，huifasongjixiayibei，xiayibeirenruguobuduofangmiandiaozheng，haihuijixuzaicixiangxiachuan。

neima，youxierenzaihunyinshenghuodangzhongxiaiyingyongjiatinglengbaoli，tuxianlenaxiedejiatingguanxinantini？

回答便是两字：欠缺关怀。

 zhenduigecengmianbingweiwanshandexiaohailaijiang，zhinengerzhongwupinzuizhongyao。diyishizuijichudehuaxuewuzhiyaoqiu，chichuanzhuxingzheixiefangmian。dierbianshijiazhongdeguanhuai，babamamaerrenqueyibuke。shenmeshilengbaoli？yinweijiatingbaolilihungaizenmechuli？

 beiaideshi，xuduobabamamarenweizishenzhibixuzhenghenduoqianbaxiaohaiyangdabianshikejinzhishoule，quehulvelejiazhongguanhuaiduixiaohaidebiyaoxing。jiayinggaishiaidegangwan，yixieduzhidebabamamayinweibenshennanti，jiangjiabianweibinglengdebingku。xiaohaizaizheileijiazhongdangzhongchengshouwunai、zeguai、yuyanbaoli、hulvezheixie，qinshenjinglizheifancuicanyihou，xingqingbianhuiyuelaiyuejixing，chedichengjilebabamamadetedian。

 conglaibushenxinjiankangdejiatingguanxizhangdaledexiaohai，wanhunyihou，zhuduonantibianhuituxian。zaiqizhongyouyigehenxingmudenantibukehushi：taiguoqingxubuwending。yejiushifeichangrongyiyuwang，qianquekeguan。yingduihunlianwentishi，xiaojiqingxuhuiyongshangxintou，suihouxuanxiejishenbianren，jihuamaodun。dangfenqiyuelaiyuebunengdiaohezhishi，bianhuiyingyongjiatinglengbaolikaizhanduifu。zheileiduifu，huijixinlichanshengjixingdechengjiugan，jiangtarendetongchubianweizishendekaixin。

 zheileijixingchengjiugan，shizixiaoqianquejiazhongguanhuaizaochengde。yixiexiaohaiyizhibeibabamamahulve，yincigenjuzuocuoshizaochengbabamamadeliuyi，huodezishenyaoxiangdeguanhuai。xiaohaimeiyoubianbieshifeidegongzuonengli，tajuedezishendezheileizuofakeyirangbabamamayishidaozishendebiyaoxing。danshi，shijianyizhang，zheileigerenxingweibianhuirongjindaoneixinshenchubianchengxingqingdeyibufen。hunhouxiaiyingyongjiatinglengbaoli，bianshizaizhengshizishendebiyaoxing。

2、更改

 jiatingguanxidailairenzheibanzhongtedadeweihai，youmuyougenggaidefangshini？fangshiyou，keshigenggaiqilaishifenjiannan，bixujianchibuxie。

第一种方式：纪录自身的言谈举止。

 henduorenwangwangyouzhexingqingshangdezhongdawenti，haibuzizhi，shijishangshiyouyuzishengenbenbuqingchuzishenzuolenaxie，jiangguonaxie。changshuodehua，suozuodeshi，shizaiguoduoqingxubuwendingdexinliziranhuanjingxiazaochengde，meiyoulijingkeguandetiaoxuan。yiner，yaoxianggenggai，delejiezishendeyantanjuzhi，bingjixialai。zaikeguandeqingkuangxia，haohaodipinwei，kanyixiadoucunyoushenmewenti。

第二种方式：反思自己的言谈举止。

 ziwofansishiyizhongtishengzishendeshifenhelidefangfa，mengziqueshuoguo：“wurisanshengwushen。”ziwofansijiuhaoxiangzhaojing，keyixiezhurenmenjinkuailejieziji，zhaodaonanti，duofangmiangaijin。danghuiweiwuqiongzishendeyantanjuzhizhishi，xunzhaobudangzhichudediqu，jiubixufansiziji，zenmehuishuozheileihua，zuozheileishi？daozhidejieguoshisha？jiaruhuanyizhongfangfashifouhuihaoyidian？zhangjiuyiwang，keguanbeijiegoujiagu，zheixiebukexuedeyantanjuzhijiunenghuodehelidecaozong。

 keshi，zhuduoshishishang，henduorengenbenbuyuanyigaibianxianzhuang。zaoyulengbaolihunyingairuheshihao？youyutamenhuiganjuezishenmeiyoucuo，xiangjinbanfajizijizhaojiekou。zheijiushijiduandejiatingguanxidaozhishilingyigenanti：xurongxintaimingan。buyuanyirenkezishendequedian，haipayingduizishenfanxiadecuo，siweishizhongyezhangbupang。