林志玲新婚晒甜蜜：如何让爱情在婚后延续？

 linzhilingyuzhangfuakirahetipaixiezhen，dengfengmianbingjieshoucaifang，shoucitanjizijiyudehunyinshenghuo：haodehuaidedouyuanyiyiqiguo。

 linzhilingjuedelixiangxingdehunyinshi，shibulixiangderiziyekeyiyiqigongdu，haodehuaidedouyuanyiyiqiguo，buguanjingliduojiushijianrengjiukeyikanjianjidebicidehao。

 ziconglinzhilingjiajiakirahou，zaoshoudaolehenduofeiyi，danjiuxianglinzhilingzaicaifangzhongshuode“aiqingzhenzhengdekaoyanshiconghunyinkaishi，zhihoudeshenghuojiukanlianggerenruhebawo。”

budebushuo，linzhilingbahunyinkandehentongtou，bujinkandaolehunyinlihaodeyimian，tongshihaikandaolehuaideyimian。

 henduonvxingrenweihunyinyinggaishiaiqingxiuchengzhengguodejieju，aidaonongmishijiuhuijiehun，ranhoutiantianmimi、rujiaosiqidezaiyiqiyibeizi，duihunyinbaoyoumeihaodehuanxiang，juedejiehunhoudeliangrenhuiyanxulianailideganjue，quehushilehunyindebenzhi——guorizi。

aiqingzhenzhengdekaishishihunyin，guanjianshizenyangcainengrangaiqingpingwenguodu，yizhiyanxuxiaquni？

01

婚姻不是爱情的结束，而是新恋情的开始

zonghuitingdaoyourenshuo“hunyinshiaiqingdefenmu，beijudekaishi”，shuozheixiehuaderenkenengyikaishijinxingdejiubushiaiqing。

 hunyinzheigedongxibenshenshimeiyouwentide，youwentideshijingyingganqingdeshuangfang。hunyinbenwushengming，shijingyingganqingdelianggerenjiyulehunyinshengming。

tashicongyiduanlianqingdaolingyiduanlianqingdeshenghua，shilianggerenxiangruyimodekaishi。

 jinruhunyinhoudewomen，yaoshichanggaosuziji：“hunyinbushiaiqingdefenmu，hunyinshigengqinmideaiqingkaishi”、“hunyinbushilianaishixiuchengzhengguodeailianyanxu，shijinruyiduanxinlianqingdekaishi”。

 hunqianlianai，shilianggerenbicijiandeshitan，buchanzajiatingdechengfen，hennantihuiaizailianggerenxinzhongdeshenaichengdu，hennantihuidaoaidezhendi。

erhunhou，chanzalejiatingchengfen，caishizhenzhengailiandekaishi，jinglilechaimiyouyanjiangcuchahouyijiunengtianmiruchu。

keyishishimeitianzaixinzhongmoniansanci：hunyinshiaiqingdekaishi！hunyinshiaiqingdekaishi！hunyinshiaiqingdekaishi！

02

婚姻里不可或缺的“有效沟通”

 「goutong」zheicibujinzaigonghaolichuxianlewushuci，yebeifensixunwenlehenduoci，womenyekanlebushaoguanyugoutongdewenzhang，duiyugoutonghuoduohuoshaowomendoudonglebushao，suoyizheilitantanhunyinlidegoutong。

1、hunyinguanxiliyousanzhonggoutongxuyaoshenghuogoutong、aiqinggoutong、maodungoutong

 shenghuogoutong：zaishenghuodeguochengzhong，dadaochuyoujihua、goumaijiadian，xiaodaochaimiyouyanjiangcuchadoushixuyaoshuangfangdegoutong，bushiyigerenjiukeyizuojuedingde，ruguoyigerenjiukeyizuojuedingdehunyinshenghuobujiaohunyin，jiao“hezushenghuo”。

 aiqinggoutong：hunyinshiaiqingdekaishi，zhongxinjianlibicideguanxi，xuyaogoutong。ouershuoshuoxiaotianhuashigoutong，changxiangweilaishigoutong，suoyoudesuoyoudoushigoutong。

 maodungoutong：zheiyidianjiugengjiademingle，jiushizimianshangdeyisi。fashenglemaodun、chaojiagengxuyaogoutongjiejue，maodunconglaidoubushiwuzhongshengyou、shijiandaolejiuzijizoule，doushixuyaogoutong。

 2、meizhoudegoutongpinlvyaobaochizaisanciyishang，yaoyouzhishaosancideliangrenduchucuxizhangtanshijian，jinxingliangrenshijieshidegoutong，keyishifenghuaxueyue、huiweidangchu、gouxiangweilai，haikeyiouerdetutucaofafadia。

3、三不原则：

 bufuyan：yiduanlianghaodeganqing，yidingyaozhenchengxiangdui，huoxuhenduorenzuobulaitanchengxiangdui，danzhenchengbixuyaoyou。baduifangzaixinli，tingtadeganshou、tingtadesuoxiang、tingtadesuqiu，buyaoxiangzhesuibian、jiangjiuyingfuyixiajiuhao，zheishiduizheiduanganqingdejiqibuzunzhong；

 bushuojiao：zaiganqinglidegoutongzhong，womenzuipajiushiyudaoshuojiaoshidebanlv，kezheizhongshuojiaoshiyouchangchangchuxianzaiwomenderichanggoutongheshenghuozhong。 qinggannantihenxinlei？10skuaisushenqingqingganzhenduan！

 liru：“douhenishuolebuyaozouzheitiaolu，nikansaicheleba？yaoshinizouganggangneitiaoluwomenxianzaijiuyijingdaole。meicichumendouconglaibuguihuashedinghaolucheng，zongshizheiyanglangfeishijian……”shuojiaoshidegoutongzonghuiranglianggerenyinlaizhengchao、maodunhelengzhan，tongshihaihuiyouyizhongzhanzaigaochuzhizetarendeganjue，rangrengandaobushuang；

bufouding：meiyourenxihuanbeifouding，jiusuanshilianggehenqinmiderenyebuxing。

 dangyigerenzongbeiruoyouruowudefoudingshi，neizheigerendezizunxinhexinxinjiuhuishoudaodaji，manmandejiuhuishiqudangchudereqing，ziwojiazhihecunzaiganhuizhixiandexiajiang。duiduifang、duiziji、duizheiduanganqingdefazhandoushijiqibuhaode。

4、两多原则：

 duoganxie：buyaoyiweizoujinlehunyinjiukeyisongxiexialai。buruhunyin，zhibiaomingwomenyouzhegengzhang、gengjiannanderenshengluyaozou。hunhoumianduitaweiwomenzuodedaxiaoshi，haihuixiangzhangfubiaodaganjizhiqingma？

qianwanbuyaoshitaweilisuodangran！

qishisheiyemeiyouyiwuweisheizuoshenme？

meiyouyinggaiyaoweisheizuoshenme？

 duiyubierendefuchuwomendouyaoxuehuiganxie，jiuxiangpingshiwomenhuixiexiefumu、xiexiepengyouyiyang，xiexiewomenzuiqinmideren。erqienanrenfeichangxihuanzaifuchuzhihou，keyidedaolaizixinainvrendeqingganfankui，zheihuishitamenjuedezijidefuchushiyoujiazhi，beikendingde；

 duoguanxin：zaiqinmiguanxizhong，bicidouxiwangduifangnengjiangzijifangzaixinshang，shishikekedebeidianji、beiguanxin，nengganshoudaozijizaiduifangxinzhongdefenliang。guanxinnenglajinliangrenzhijiandeguanxi，nengrangganqingshengwen。

 5、youchulichongtudejizhi——womenzaishenghuozhong、gongzuozhongzonghuitingdaochongtujizhi、weijijizhi、gongguanchulidengdengdebutongjizhi。zaiganqingzhongfashengchongtudepinlvbuyayushenghuozhong、gongzuozhong，qishiwomenkeyizaiganqingzhongyejianliyigechuliganqingchongtudejizhi。

 liru：fashengchongtushishuangfangdiyibuyaoxianlengjingwufenzhong——dierbuwufenzhonghouzaiyidiyirencheng“wo”kaiqisusongchenci——disanbushuangfangbiaodachuzijideganshou“woganjueyoudianshengqi、woyoudianbunenglijie、wobuzhidaogaizenmeban？”——disibuzhaodaowentifashengyuanyou(faxieleneixindeganshouzaitanshiqing，huixiangduilizhihepingjing)——diwubuzhaodaojiejuewentidebanfa——zuihou，hehao。

zheiyitaowubufabushimeiyiduibanlvdoushiyong，julizijingongcankao。

03

婚姻要两人同甘与共

 hunhou，lianggerendeshenghuomoshiduibihunqian，chuxianleyigehenmingxiandeduibi，neijiushi：hunhouliangrenshiyitide，shironghede，suoyoudeshiqingjiangdedoushi“women”，erbushi“wo”、“ni”。neimehunhoubixuyaoyou“womendeshiqing”。

1、zhishaomeiyueyaoyouyiciliangrengongtongchangshixinde“lequjihui”。

yulequandemofanfuqizhiyi：sunlihedengchao，tamenjiehunqinianle，bingmeiyouwomensuoshuode“qinianzhiyang”ershienairuchu。

qizhongyouyidianhenzhongyao，jiushitamenhenzhuzhonghunhoushenghuode“yishigan”。

 tamenmeiyiniandejiehunjinianri、bicideshengri，tamendouhuizaizheitebiederizili，fangxiashoushangdegongzuoheshenfen，quguoyigezhishuyubicideyuehui，paokaichaimiyouyanjiangcuchadeyueshu，chuangzaoxindehuiyi。

 zheishiyizhongbaochiganqingnongdudefangfa，zaiyicicichangshixinlequdetongshi，yeshiweizheiduanganqingzhuruxinxiandexueyehexindehuiyi，jiashenbicijiandeyiliandu。

2、yidingyaoyuduifangfenxiangzhongyaodekunnanhefannao。

 zonghuiyouzheimeyizhongbanlv，buxiangjiduifangzengtianfannao，xiangzhezijikeyijiejue，jiubuxuyaogaosuduifangle，zheizhongfangshizaiqinmiguanxizhongyizhongbiduandecunzai。

 jiuhaoxiangxiaoshihoudangwomenyudaokunnanbuzhidaozenmejiejueshi，huiwenfumugaizenmeban？yinweiwomenzhidaofumushiwomenzuiqinjinderen。daoleganqingzhongquewangle，hewomenzouyibeizideshibanlv。

 buguanfashengshenmeshiqing，womendouyinggaixiangdao，womenbeihouyouren，tamenmomodezhichizhewomen，shenmeshifuqi？youfutongxiangyounantongdang，yudaokunnanle，jiugaishuochulaiyiqijiejue。zhezheyanyande，huirangduifangjuedezijibubeixinren，henenglibuzu。

3、qianwanbuyaoshuo：qingwujiangqingxudaihuijia。

womenchangtingdaodeshi：qingbuyaojiangqingxudaihuijia。

erzheiliqueshishuoyaobaqingxudaihuijia，kendinghenduorenbulijie，shenzhijuedezheishizaixiache。bushizheiyangde。

 jiashiyigewennuandegangwan，shiyigewenshi，shizhidewomenyongxinshouhudeyigedifang，keshibiewangle，neiyeshiwomenxuqiuanwei、fangxiamianju、qixidedifang。

 womenzaiwaigongzuoyizhengtian，zongxiangyourenkeyitingtingwomendetucao、jiwomenpaipaiyou，napashi“wozaishuo，nizaipangbianjingjingzuozhejiuxing”，zheiyenengrangwomenneixindedaoweijie。

 ruguomeiciwomenhuidaojiadouyaoyinzangzhezijideqingxu，mingmingjintianhenbukaixin，beilaobanzhizelexinqingbuhao，huidaojiamenqianqueyaochulihaozijideqingxu，ranhoujinmenyiliankaixindeshuo：“laogongwohuilaila！”，zheiyangweizhuangdeshenghuojiule，jiuhuilei，bicijianyehuiyinweizheiyangshuyuanle。

womenkeyishidangdibaqingxudaihuijia。

04

不断提升

 zheiyidianyeshiwomenchangshuode，yiduanlianghaodeganqingshilianggerenzaichabuduodegaodu，erbushiyirenfenliqianjin，yirenyuanditabuzuoxiangqicheng。

 meiyoushenmetezhang，fangrenzijishencaizouyang，barenxingdanggexing，rangzijianyuxianzhuang，bujizijishuruzhishi，fangzairenqunzhong，huixunsubazijijiyanmeile。fangzaiganqingzhonghuirangduifangjuedeyanjuanyumeiyouxinxinjixuwangxiazou。

ganqingshiyichangxuexi、hunyinshiyichangxuexi，yaoxuexizenyangcainengjiangzheiduanxiangruyimodeqingsuyanxu。

文| 曾婷婷