吵架后，聪明的女人这么做，吵架后聪明女人的做法

 yigekongdeshuipingzuo，buguannizenmean，shuipingzuodouburongyichenzaishuixia。chaojiahoucongmingnvrendezuofayounaxieni？kejiarunijiangshuipingzuoshengman，zairengshenshuili，tabianhuichenzaishuixia。chaojiahouhongxifudenuanxinhuazenmeshuo？

zheiyizhuangkuangzailunshuyigedadaoli：bubichangshigongzuoyalirangyigerentingcong，youyuzheizhinengzaochengshubushengshudedikang。

qiadangdezuofashi：womenyaoxiangbanfa，rangzheigerendexinlidedaochengjiugan。jinyouneiyang，nanticaikeyiwanquanhuodechuli。

 jidahuoerjiangzheiyidadaolishiyouyu，xuduonvhaizaigenzishennanyouzhengchaodeqingkuangxia，doushihuixuanyongdiyizhongfangfajiejuekunnan。jieguodaozuizhong，nantimeiyouhuodechuli，liangrendeqingganqueyuelaiyueyulaiyuchale。

xiaolilaizhaowoliaozuozixundeqingkuangxia，tahenanyouzaoyilengbaolileyizhoudeshijian。

 chaojiahoucongmingnvrendezuofayounaxieni？shierdeyuanyinshi：xiaoliganjuenanyoujinqiduitayoudianerbufangzaixinshang，yincijiuyouyizhaochaer，xiangrangnanyouduoguanzhutayixia。

 nanshengmeiyoulejiedaozheiyicenghanyi，tazhiganjuexiaolizaimanbujiangli，jiubaichuleyizhangchoulian。xiaolijiandaonanshengdezhuyaobiaoxian，gengweibugaoxingle，yincitalijijiugennanshengchaoleqilai。nanshengyebuganluohou，jieguoliangrenjiuyizhichaoleyiwanshang。

xushuxiangxijianshierdelijingyihou，xiaolitanleyikouqiduiwoshuo：

 “jiaoshi，ninshuowozenmejiutanshangneimeyigedagangtiezhinanni？woshixiangshitaduoguanzhuyixiawoa，taruhejiuneimebuqingchuxixianglianyuni？”

“你要让男生疼爱你，但是却挑选了跟他争执的方法，这不是揠苗助长吗？

 jiaruniyaodadaomudi，qiadangdezuofashi，nixuyaocaozonghaobenshendexintai，suihouyongdadonglaipumannanrenxin。dangnanrenduinizaochengkuijiugandeqingkuangxia，tacaihuiqingbuzijindelaitengaini。”

tinglewodehuayihou，xiaolibuduandiandiantou，suihougenwoshuoshijigaizenmecaozuo。

shijishang，dadaozheiyishijixiaoguobingbuhuitainan？

01、情景代入法

dajiadexintai、xinlizhuangtaiheniantou，shihuibeimouyiteshudechangjingsuoweihaide。

liruyigeyirenyanleyichangyanji，danshitayagenjiuxiangkukubuchulai。

 zheigeshihou，tabianhuigenjuzhuiyiyixiechangjing。liru，qinrenliqudechangjing，zairichangshenghuozhongzaoshouzhongtedacuobaidechangjingzheixie，lairangzishenjindaodaojiaosedeqingkuangdangzhong。

zhidaozheiyidianyihou，niqusisuoneiyangyigenanti：

weihegennanshengzhengchaodeqingkuangxia，ninengjuedehenshengqi，naizhiyaoxiangbuguyiqiedenuhouni？

shijishang，liangrenshijizhengchaodeshierhuoshizhucide，gengguanjiandeyuangushi，liangrendoubeineishihoudechangjingheqifenweihaile。

jiaruninengzaizhengchaodeqingkuangxia，rangzishenjindaodaoyigejijizhudongdeqingjingzhong，neimaliangrenjiunanyihuifashengzhengzhi。

shuodaozhei，woxiangdaolewodehaopengyouxiaonuan。

xiaonuangenzhangfuzaoyijiehunwunianle，zaizheiliwunianwuhuabushuodesuiyueli，liangrenjihuyemeiyouhongguolian。

xiaonuanbajiazhongdemeigewuzi，doutieshangliangrenzaixiangchushipaidexiangpian，zaiqizhongbuqueyouyixiewennuan、lanman、tianmeidejiemian。

 meimeiliangrenchadianyouyumoushiqingsipolianpideqingkuangxia，qiangbidezheizhongxiangpian，bianhuibaliangrendaidaodaoyiqianxingfudelianaizhong，suihouliangrenjiucongcichaobuqilaile。

 shijishang，nihaikeyixuanyongneiyangdefangfa。baliangrenzaixiangchudequanguochengzhong，jubeixiangzhengxingdeyixiewupin，tongtongzhanxianzaijialilibian。

 zhidaoliangrenjijianglianhongdeqingkuangxia，zheizhongwupinbianhuibanimendaidaodaoyizhongwennuan、lanmandechangjingzhong。ruguonizhishenzaizheileichangjingdangzhongdeqingkuangxia，nixiangqidejiubuhuizaishijingonghedikang，zhishiaihebaorong。

02“愧疚感”

 yingduijingonghemaodun，nanshenghuiyishunjianxiangqihaijihedouzheng，zheiyeshitamendebenxing。danciwai，nanshengyeshiyizhongyouqifeichangrongyizaocheng“kuijiuxinlizhuangtai”deweishengwu。

danshi，zheileikuijiuganzhinengzaitamencaokonglexingshi，huoshishihuodelefenjieduandehuoshengyihoucaihuifasheng。

 yinci，niqianwanbieyongzhengzhidefangfa，qugennanshenggoutongjiaoliu。zheizhinengzaocheng，nanshengzhangqichuyugennidouzhengdexinlizhuangtaihuanjie。

qiadangdezuofashi：genjurenrang，laijiakuainanshengduinizaochengkuijiugan。

kegaizenme“renrang”ni？

zuixian，ninengyongnvshiteyoudetedianlairenrang。

 liruruanruobianshinvxingdeshenshangyigeteyoudetedian。zaigennanshengzhengchaodeqingkuangxia，ninengjiyashaoliangleishui，zuochuyifubiequdemoyangrangnanshengxintong。

 ciwai，nihaikeyizainanshengmoyangzuixiongdeqingkuangxia，gaosutayiju：“niyigedalaoyemen，ganshenmeduiyuwoneimeyigexiaoguniang，fazheimedadehuoya！”

huoshishi：“niganggangdemoyanghezhuwole，xianzaiwoneixinqueshihaohaipa。”

neimeyishuo，nanshengdangranhuifajue，zishendegerenxingweidequeshiguoqule，suihou，tabianhuiduinizaochengneijiuzhiqing。

chukaiyunyongnvshiteyoudetedianlairenrangyiwai，haikeyiyunyongyixie“tufaxingzhuangkuang”lairenrang。

liruzaigennanshengzhengchaodequanguochengzhong，ruguoniganjuejushijijiangwufakongzhideqingkuangxia，jiukeyiyouyizuochuyixiexingwei。

 liru，zhuangzuoyibuxiaoxinbajiaoniudao，zhuangzuotoutong、duzitongzheixie。suihouniyejiuqianwanbiechaole，zhishiyaodunzaidimianshang，huoshizuozhechuangbian，erqiebiaoluchuyifutongchudemoyang。

 zaizheileizhuangkuangxia，nanshengjiubiranburongyizaigennizaicichaole。bingqie，tahaihuijixuyouyunishilieshideyifang，jinerduinizaochengtengaidejuede。

 zailiru，niyizhizaiyeligennanshengzhengchao，chaowanjiayihou，nanshengjiulamenchuqule。zheigeshihou，niyejiunenggouyouyibajiazhongdezongzhajiguandiao，suihoujinanshengfaxinxishuo：“jiazhonghuranmeidianle，haohei，woyoudianerdanxin。”

falexinxiyihou，niyejiunenggoubashoujidiudaoyibian，suihoushenmedoubuyaoguanle。

 guoyihuiyihou，nanshenghaowuyiwenhuilaolaoshishidehuijiale，suihoubanantijichulidiaode。chaojiahouhongxifudenuanxinhuazenmeshuo？

dengjiazhonglailadian，nixuyaosuikoushuochuyijuzanmeinanrendehua，suihouzailikebahuashouzhu，zaiciniuguotouqumeilinansheng。

 tingjiannidechengzan，yucitongshiyoujiandaonidezhuyaobiaoxianyihou，nanrenxinhaowuyiwenjiuruanlechulai。xiamian，tabidinghuixiangfangshefalaihongrende。

 dicengluoji：lianggerenjiaowangquanguochengzhongzaisuonanmianpengdaozhengzhiyumoheqi，dangengguanjiandeshinixuyaomingbairuhequjiejue，ruheyunyongzheizhongmaodunrangbicizhijianmoheqidegengweihemu。

 bawohaofangfa，qinggandangranhuiyuechaoyuetianmei。erzheimoheqiquanguochengzhong，haowuyiwenmianbulejianchibuxiehexixin，gengmianbulekuanronghelejie。yigekongdeshuipingzuo，buguannizenmean，shuipingzuodouburongyichenzaishuixia。kejiarunijiangshuipingzuoshengman，zairengshenshuili，tabianhuichenzaishuixia。chaojiahouhongxifudenuanxinhuazenmeshuo？

zheiyizhuangkuangzailunshuyigedadaoli：bubichangshigongzuoyalirangyigerentingcong，youyuzheizhinengzaochengshubushengshudedikang。

qiadangdezuofashi：womenyaoxiangbanfa，rangzheigerendexinlidedaochengjiugan。jinyouneiyang，nanticaikeyiwanquanhuodechuli。

 chaojiahoucongmingnvrendezuofayounaxieni？jidahuoerjiangzheiyidadaolishiyouyu，xuduonvhaizaigenzishennanyouzhengchaodeqingkuangxia，doushihuixuanyongdiyizhongfangfajiejuekunnan。jieguodaozuizhong，nantimeiyouhuodechuli，liangrendeqingganqueyuelaiyueyulaiyuchale。