让爱情一步步走向深渊的原因，你不得不知！

jintian，yiweihaopengyoushuo：“weihewoduitafuchulezheimeduo，tahaishimeiyoudayinghewozaiyiqi？”

wowentazuolenaxieshiqingzhuinvsheng，tashuo：“womeitiandoujitafazaoanwanana，yijingjianchibannianle。danshitazhishihuifulesanci，youliangcidoushirangwobiefale。nishuoshibushizheigenvshengtaitanxinle？”

wotingwantadegushi，wozhidaotashizai“ziwogandongshiaiqing”zhuangtai，ziyiweizijifuchulehenduo，keshiduifanggenbenbuxuyaoa。

nideaiqingbuzaizheili，nigaidaobiechuxunzhao。

zheizhong“ziwogandongshiaiqing”deren，duoshizhanzaizijidejiaodu，jiyuduifangzijirenweideai；genbenbudongdehuanweisikaode。

erzheizhong“ziwogandongshideaiqing”huirangbicidougandaohenyoubushufu。dangbierenbulingqinghuozhebuhuiyingdeshihou，jiukaishiguaizeduifangle。

er“ziwogandongshideaiqing”wangwangrongyizaiziwoqiwangzhili，yibubuzouxiangshenyuan，jiang“ai”zhuanweihen，rangshenbianderengandao“yabachihuanglian，youkushuobuchu。”

01

为何会一步一步走向深渊？

1、活在自我世界里

woyouyigenvxueyuanxiaomeizhaowowanhui，lejieletamenguoqudeganqingxiangchuqingkuang，yuanlai，xiaomeizaihenanyouxiangchudeshihou，juedenanyoubugoushangjin，suoyichangchangyaotanuligongzuo，jitamailehenduoshuben，yejiaotaruhehelingdaoxiangchu，zhengqujinsheng。

kaishideshihou，nanshengyetingnvshengshuodehenrenzhengongzuo，manmandenanshengyuelaiyuechenmole。houlai，xiaomeidanxintabeirendaihuai，bujitahe“jiuroupengyou”zoudetaijin，hedenanyoushenbiandepengyoumanmandouzijueshuyuanle。

zuihounanshengjuedehexiaomeibuheshi，xuanzelefenshou。

xiaomeishuoqizheixiejingli，kuleqilai“wozuodezheimeduo，weihetahaibudongwoyouduohao？haibugandong？”

zheiweilaifangzheyeshixianru“ziwogandongshideaiqing”li，huozaiziwoshijieli，yiweijiaonanrenshangjinjiushiainanrenle。ernanrencongxiaobeimamajiao，shangxuebeilaoshiguan，shangbanbeilaobanguan，xianzaizhaolenvpengyouhaiyaobeinvrenguan，ernanrengenbenbuxihuanbeishuojiaoa。

nanrenxuyaodeshibeirenke、beizhichi、beijiena，taxuyaopingguo，nipianyaojirenyiluokuangli，chibuwantahaiyaobeidatui，sheinenggandong？

ziwogandongshideaiqing，zhishihuozaizijideshijieli。

zaiganqingli，nifuchuhenduo，jiangzijirenweidedongxijileduifang，jiangzijirenweizuiduidezuofagaosuduifang，keshizheizhongduitahaoshimangmuerbuzizhide，genbenmeiyouxiangguoduifangshifouzhendexuyao，suoyinijuedehenshenhoudeganqing，duifangwangwangmeiyouxiangtongdeganshou，shenzhixiangtaopao。

2、迷失自我

dangyigerenchenmi“ziwogandongshiaiqing”le，zaodaoduifangjujuedeshihou，huijiangzijifangzaishouhaizhedeweizhi，kaishiziwogongjiheziwohuaiyi。

xiaomeizaidiercizixun，kusuzhe“wozuolezheimeduoyegandongbuleta，wojuedezijihenshibai，renshenghuozhehaiyoushenmeyiyini？”

zheishihou，xiaomeishijiangziwojiazhijituodaobierenderenkeshangle，ruguozijifuchude，nengdedaoduifangderenke，zijicaishiyoujiazhide，ruguoduifangmeiyoujieshouhuozhejujuele，jiujuedezijimeiyouyong，renshenghencanle。

qishi，yiqiebuguoshizijidebiaoyanbale，zhizaolechiqingdejiaxiang，ergenbentanbushangai。 qinggannantihenxinlei？10skuaisushenqingqingganzhenduan！

haodeaiqingtiyan，bangzhuwomengenglejieziji，genghaodechengzhang，erruguozaiaiqingliziwomishile，neishiyinweizijibenshenjiubulejieziji，meiyouzhaodaozijidejiazhi。

毕淑敏老师说：

“shengmingbenmeiyouyiyi，shiwomenhuochuleyiyi。”

renshengdeyiyishizaiyuwomenduishengmingdelijie。

meiyigerendoukeyihuochuzijidejiazhi，fuyushengmingyiyi。zaiganqingli，buguanduifangshifouaini，yehuiyouzijidejiazhi。

renshengshiduoweidude，youganqing、jiankang、shiye，youzijideaihaodeng，napaaiqingbushihenshunli，yefoudingbuleshengmingbenshendeyiyi。

3、过度付出后，“爱”转为恨

dangyigerenzai“ziwogandongshiaiqing”li，neixinrenweizijiduiduifangaidezhenqie，shenzhikeyixianchushengming，erdangmeiyoudedaohuiyingshihou，huirenweizijiweiduifangyijingxianchulehenduo，huijiangzijihuanxiangdebufendangchengshishi，kuadazijidefuchu，ranhourongyiduiduifangyougongji。

dangshixiaomeishuo，“laoshi，ruguotajiehunle，woxiangquzachangzi，pingshenmerangtaxingfule！”xiaomeikaishirenweizheijiushiqiannanyouyingdedexiachang，juedeqiannanyoubupeidedaoxingfu。

zheishihou，xiaomeide“ai”yijingzhuanweihenyile。

“ai”hehen，yinianzhijian。

youshihou，nijuedeniaile，nijiushiaile，youshihounijuedebuaile，jiushibuaile。

meigerendoushizaibianhuadeguochengzhong，womenkeyiai，yekeyibuai，danbubi“yuanhen”，yidan“yuanhen”，renrenbuzhuxiangbaofu，xiangzuoyixiegongjixingdexingdong，zheiyanghuijiangzijituixiangshenyuan。

womenyiweiwomenhendongta，jitadejiushiduifangxiangyaode，yiweiaiyigerenbujiushiduitataoxintaofei，fuchusuoyou。

erwomenyueshiguodudefuchu，womenyuerongyiyouqidai，womenjiuhenxiangduifanganzhaowomendeqidaiquzuo，buzhibujuezhongxiangkongzhiduifang。

aibushizhanyou，ershizunzhonghejiyu。

meigerendoushidulidegeti，geziyoubuyiyangdexuqiuhexuanze。

02

如何避免陷入“自我感动式爱情”？

1、自爱而后爱他人

womenaiyigeren，aidezaishen，yebuyaomishileziji。womenzhaodaozijidejiazhi，budaiqidaidequai，zuodao“rutasuoshi，feiwosuoyuan”，caishizhenzhengdeai。

zhenaizhishuzhenzhengdongdeaizijideren，zaiaizijidejichushang，jiangzijixinzhongduochudeneiyifenaijiyuduifang。

womenfuchudebufen，shiwomenxinganqingyuandejiyude。zhiyuduifangshifouhuihuiying，neishiduifangdexuanze，womenbuzuoqidaihepingpan，yunxuduifangyouzijidexuanze。

zaiganqingli，dezhuangtaishiliangqingxiangyue。ruguoyizhidebudaohuiying，womenyekeyishiqudelikai，yibieliangkuan，gezianhao。

2、懂得换位思考

youyizhongleng，shinimajuedenileng。

youyizhonge，shinimajuedenie。

napashizijideqinshengmama，yekenengbulejiehaizidexuqiu。

zheigeshijieshang，meiyouxiangtongdelianggeren，meigerendouyoubuyiyangdexinggehexiangfa。womenzaiaiqingli，xuyaozhanzaiduifangdejiaoduqusikao，lejieduifangzhenzhengdexuyaoshishenme，zheigeguochengshi“faxiantadexuqiu”。

neijiexialaijiushi“manzuxuqiu”，yongduifangxiwangdefangshimanzuta，erbushiwomenxiangdangrandefangshi。

biru，duifangxuyaoanjing，womendongdejiduifangliuyoukongjian。duifangnanguole，womenzaitashenbianjiyupeiban。

aiqingli，nandekeguideshiliangqingxiangyue、xianghuxinshang，liangrendouyuanyiduiganqingtouruzijideshijian、jingliheqinggan，erbushiyifangdekeyitaohao。

guanxishizaibuduandebianhuazhongde，womenxuyaobuduandezuochuxuanze。zaiweizhimianqian，zuodaohuozaidangxia，wulunzhudongxuanzehaishibeidongxuanze，chengdanmeicixuanzedezeren，dongdeziaiyedongdeaitaren，shichengshudebiaoxian。

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