导师精选：在这些前提下结婚才能更长久安全

dajiajingchanghuizairichangshenghuozhonghuozhewangshangkandaozheiyangdeanli，henduonvrenbaoyuanlaogonghunqiantanwan、mabao、landuo、piqichadengdeng，yiweijiehunhoulaogongnengyousuogaibian，shijishanghunhoudeshenghuogengshibianbenjiali、yidijimao，houhuidangchuxuancuoren。

yixieqingganbozhu、nvxinggongzhonghaoyejingchanghuifabiaozheiyangdewenzhang，gaosudajia(zhuyaoshinvxing)xuanzedayugaibian，hunqianyudaodewenti，buyaowangxiangzaihunhoujiejue。

neimenanrenjiujingshizenmexiangdeni？zheiliangzeanlirangwomenkankannanrendexinsheng。

01

kxiansheng，jiajingyouyue，xuebarenshe，mingxiaoboshi，jijiuzhiyukeyanjigou，youyurenhehuochuangye，gangganghuodetianshijijintouzi。qizixiaocshitaxiaoxuetongxue，peixunlaoshi，lianaisannian，xianyougekeaidenver。

zaiwairenkanlai，kxianshengbuduanzouxiangrenshengdedianfeng。dankxianshengyeyouzijidefannao：tabushizaichugui，jiushizaichuguidelushang。

yongtazijidehuashuo：“kenengshizheigeguidaoyagenjiubudui。”

dangnianxiaocciqulaojiadegongzuo，peitazaibeijingdubo。kxianshengsannianboshibiye，zhunbeihuilaojiachengshifazhan，xiaocyougenzhetahuidaolaojia。

liangrenhuidaojiaxiangzhihou，kxianshengbingbuxiangjiehun，tashenzhizijigenxiaoczaiyiqijiuxianglaofulaoqiyiyang，ganqingyuelaiyuedan。

yifangmiankxianshenghenbuganxin，zijixueli、yanzhi、gongzuoshouru、jiajingdouyaogaochuxiaochaojigedangci；lingyifangmianxiaocyizhiquanxinquanyizhichitadubo、gongzuo、chuangye，bujiehunshizaiwufajitahetafumuyigejiaodai。

qishi，tayeyoubiedexinyinvhaizi，zhishiduifangyuzijiduiweilaiguihuabuxiangtong，jiumeiyoukaolvzuoweijiehunshouxuanduixiang。

poyushuangfangfumudeyali，taruqizouxiangjiehundiantang。hunhou，xiaochuaiyunshengnver，kxianshengmangyuchuangye，liangrenhudongjiaoliu、fuqishenghuoyuelaiyueshao。

guoran，taxianshibiaobaiyigeyiqiananliandenvtongxue，zhijiebeiju，zhihouyouchuguibizijixiaoshiduosuidenvzhiyuan。tayehenhouhui、henneijiu，neixinshouzhedaodelunlideqianze。

tayunvzhiyuanzhanduanqingsihou，haishijuedezijigenqizibingbuxiangai，yiqiedoushiweilehaizi，caiweixizhejiating。

tashuo：“womeifazhudongtichulihun，ruguoxiaoczhidaole，wohuibasuoyoudefangzichezicunkuanhaizidouliujita，bijingtashenmecuodoumeiyou。”

shishizhengming，jiehunshengzibingmeiyougaibiantamendeganqingshizhi。zaizheigekuaijiezoudeshidai，ruguomeiyouzhaodaozuixiangyaoderen，yemeiyougaibianzijidexintai，huoxuzuizhonghuanlaidejiushibuhuanersan。

02

bxianshengdeqingkuangganghaoxiangfan。tabenrenyizhizaitizhineiananwenwengongzuo，jingrenjieshaorenshileqizixiaoping，xiaopingdexuelinenglishourudenggefangmiantiaojiandougengyouyue。

zaijiehunzhiqian，xiaopingjiushiyigetebieyouxiangfaderen，huijingchangtiyi：

“woquouzhoulvxingba。”

“jijializaizhuangshiyixia！”

“woxiangtouziyijiatianpindian。”

bxianshengshizaibulijiexiaopingdeqiangshi、xiazheteng。tongyang，bxianshengsuorenweidesuixing、pingdandeshenghuo，zaixiaopingyanliyeshipingyong、meichongjing。

bxianshengyiweixiaopinghuimanmangaibian，huiantadexiangfashenghuo。jieguojiehunzhihou，tamendoushizairennaiduifang，biandetebieyayi，zhongyuyouyitianyinweipoxisuoshibaofa。

bxianshengyezaifansi：renyurenzhijianmeiyouneimeduoduiyucuo，henduoguanxijiushijieshoubujieshou、renkeburenke、tongyibutongyi。

tarenweitahexiaopingzhijianjiushizheizhonghuxiangburenkedeguanxi，buhuichixutaijiu。tadezuofayegenkxianshengzhenghaoxiangfan，yijingkaishibazijimingxiacunkuan、gupiaodouzhuandaofumumingxia，zhengquzijideliyi。

wulunlianai，haishijiehun，ganqingjichuyouweizhongyao。yiweijiehunzhihou，ganqinghuigengshen，duifanghuiweizijigaibian，shubuzhitianxingnangai，benxingnanyi，zheigenandukexiangerzhi。 qinggannantihenxinlei？10skuaisushenqingqingganzhenduan！

yincixuanzeshihezijide，shuangfangdegaibianjiudoushaole。

03

 huijixueyouyigezhongyaoyuanze：“shizhizhongyuxingshi”：zhiqiyeyingdanganzhaojiaoyihuoshixiangdejingjishizhijinxinghuijihesuan，erbuyingdangjinjinanzhaotamendefalvxingshizuoweihuijihesuandeyiju。

lianggerenzaiyiqi，ruguozaifalvsiweikuangjiaxia，《hunyinfa》nenggoubaohunizaihunneideyixiequanli，baokuogongtongcaichansuoyouquandengdeng。

raner，zaihuijixuedesiweikuangjiaxia，shizhizhongyuxingshi。lianggerenganqinghenhao，jiebujiehunganqingdouhenhao；ganqingbuhao，libulihun，ganqingdoubuhao。

lianggerendeshizhiqinmiguanxi，buyinweiyizhangjiehunzhenghuozheyizhanglihunzhengeryoushizhigaibian。

xiandairenyinggaiyoufalvsiwei，yeyinggaiyouhuijixuesiwei，zhuzhongshizhi，buyaoduixingshitaiguoyuqidai。

ruguohunqianjiuxiangpituichugui，buyaoqidaihunhouhuiyoushizhigaibian，huicongyierzhong。

suiran《hunyinfa》guidingshuangfangyougongtongcaichansuoyouquan，danshidangshizhiguanxipolie，duifangkenenghunneizhuanyicaichan。

kxianshengdeanlishuoming：hunqianbumanyiduifang，jiehunhouyebumanyi。

bxianshengdeanligaosuwomen，lianggerenzhiqianhunqianhuxiangbulijie，yebuyaozhiwanghunhoujiuhuilijie。

04

weileshaozouwanlu，wuruleiqu，nanrenmenzaixuanlaoposhi，youqixuyaozhuyizheijidian。guniangmenyeyaozhuyi，jinfangzhongzhao：

1)恋爱的结局≠结婚

chengnianrendelianai，jiushizaimangmangrenhaixunzhaoyigeduideren。

henduolianaizhongderen，zhizaiyizijifuchudejihuichengben。

ruguoduifangshiyigecuoderen，zijidefuchujihuichengbenjiushiduijuecewuyongde“chenmeichengben”，genbenwuxukaolv，yingguoduanfangqi。

henduoshihou，youxierenpoyulaizishehui、fumu、qinpenghaoyoudeyali，yijiduizishennianlingdekongju，weilejiehunerjiehun。

buyaobeizheixieyalihekongjuwudao，yaozuochuyigelixing、fuzerendejueduan。meiyougaijiehundenianling，zhiyougaijiehundeaiqing。

2)不要抱着报恩的心态结婚

buaijiushibuaile。buyaoyiweinvfangzhiqianweinifuchuneimeduo，jiuyidingyaoyishenxiangxubaodata。

nibuaile，gankuaifangshou，haoguniangcaizhidebierenai。buaile，haiyingzhetoupijiehun，zuizhonghuanlaideshidaizhehaizilihun，caikengleduifang，yiyuanbaode。

yongganchengrenzijibuaile，yexuduifanghuitongku，yexuyaochengdanyidingdaijia，danshizheizhongtongkushiduanzande，daijiayeshixiaode。

3)追求自己想要的，并承担后果

henduonanrendelixiangnvxing，shineizhong“shangdeletingtang，xiadelechufang，zaichuangshangyedefengkuang，jingjiduli，jiatingguanxihainenglvshun”dewanmeinvchaoren。

nanrenmenyezhidaozijibushijipinyouzhinan，wanmeinvchaorenzenmehuixuanzezijini？

kxianshengkanbushangxiaocdeyan，wanquankeyizhuiqiushijunlidideaiqing，zhaoyigegaoyanzhi、gaoxueli、gaoshourudebanlv，danduifangkenengbuhuineimeshanjierenyi，buhuizhanzhuanjigechengshi，yiluzhichitadubo、gongzuo、chuangye，fanerxuyaotaweijiatingheqizideshiyefuchu。

nannvzhijiandejiaowang，shiyizhongnengliangdeliudong。meiyifangdoubukenenghuodesuoyounengliang，quebufuchuzijidenengliang。

4)不要让“大男子主义思想”作怪

zheilide“dananzizhuyisixiang”zhideshineizhonghenqiangkongzhiyu、zisi、ziwo、siyaomianzidesixiang。

yiduanqinmiguanxizhong，ruguonvrendeshouru、diwei、gejudougaoyunanxing，nanrenjiuyinggaizheyanxiaochu，duotitienvren，duoshiyingnvren。

bxianshengruguoxiangzhaoyigexiangxiaopingzheiyangyounenglidenvren，jiuyinggaizhichitabuduankuodashouru，tigaoshenghuopinzhi。erbunengjixiangshouxiaopingdailaidehaochu，yourenweitazongzaixiazheteng。

huozhe，takeyixuanzeyigetingzijihuade，xiangzijiyiyangmeizhuiqiu，yuanyiguopingdanrizidenvzi。

nanrenyeyaofangxiazijisixiangbaofu，chengrenzijide“ruo”。

选择大于改变。

sheitongku，sheigaibian；sheigaibian，sheishouyi。

yaoyongxintihuizijidexiangfa，yeyaozhuyiduifangdeganshou。

rendemeiyicigaibiandouxuyaoqiangdadeneizaidonglihewaizaizhongdashijiandetuidongli。danglianggerenyudaowentihou，duosikaoyixiazijidexuanzeyoumeiyoucuo。

xiangqifei，jiuqujichang，huozheyongyouzijidesirenzhishengji。wulunnichengkuaiting，haishiyoulun，zainagehaiyupaihuai，chuanyongyuandoubuhuidainifei。

作者|小付；来源：冷爱公众号