情感维系必修课：这样去沟通，男人才会听你的

shenghuobuhuiyifanfengshun，ganqingyeshiyiyang，maodunyuzhengzhishichangyoufashengdeshiqing，danshizheixiechongtuzaishihoukanlai，doubushihenyanzhongdeshiqing，zhishiganqingshangdekekepengpeng。

xiangshiduifangyinweimangyugongzuolianxujigexiaoshimeiyouhuifuziji，zheixiedequerangrenhenshengqi，danshiruguoduifangzaigongzuokaishizhiqianxianghujiaodaihao，neimechongtujiuhenrongyibimianle。

danruherangduifangnenggoutingzijidehua，shuncongzijideyisi，zaizijichulijiatingyugongzuozhiyu，dedaoduifangdetiliangyulijie，zheijiuxuyaoyidingdejiqiao。

zaizheilixianshuoyuanze：yidingyaorangmaodunhezhengzhiyoujiazhi，youjiazhidemaodunshirangaiqingshuangfangyuelaiyueqihedejihui，meijiazhidemaodunzhinengshirangaiyihaojiedeheidong。

第一个毁灭信使是直接的蔑视。

fanbaiyanderen，zheiyangdexingweizairenhexiangchuguanxizhongjinlibimian。

mieshideyanxingbaohanleyigeqiantaici，jiushibaduifangfangzaileyigebizijigengdidediwei，huozherenweiduifangdeyanxingbukeliyu。“nixianzaizheimedideshouru，zufangduinieryanshigetingdadefudanba。”leisidehuaduiqinmiguanxichongmanleshashangli。

meigerendouxuyaobeizunzhong，dangranyebunengyiweidishuncongduifang，ershifangpingxintai，biciguanhuai。

第二个是蹩脚的讥讽。

mieshiqueshibulimao，danshimieshideneirongbijingyoukenengkeguancunzai，biruduifangzhenyoukenenggezibugougaoma，zongranyouyidingshanghai，danshizijiyemeishuoxiahuama。

erjifengdetaoyanzhichuzaiyu，tashiyizhongkeyide、duitarentezhidecuowupingjiayucuowuyanshen。

“nizoukainizoukai，meiyoujingangzuanbielanciqihuo，xiangxianbaishenme？”jifengzaichaoxiaoletarenxingweidetongshiyefourenletarendejiazhi，taqujieledangxiadeshejiaoqingjing，rangjiaoliubianleweidao，zirannanyiduigoutongchanshengjijiyingxiang。

第三个是无端的戒心。

bingbujinjinshizaiyanyuzhongchongmangongjixingdejiansuankebozhecairangrengandaobukuai，basuoyouwaijiexinxidoudangzuoshiduizishengongjiderentongyangyebingburongyirangrenxihuan。

zheiyangderenbashenbiandaduoshurendoudangzuojiaxiangdi，tamenwangwanghuiyuxianjiashetarenduizijiyousuotumou，erbierendeyiyanyixingzaitakanlaidouqiaqiazhengminglezheiyidian。

“nimenkan，wojiuzhidaonizaojiuduiwoyouyijianle，zenmeyang，zangbuzhuleba。”zheiyangdehuajingchanghuibajiaoliudaijinwuzhongshengyoudemaodunzhizhong，jishejiaohuanjingyuxiantieshanglemaodundebiaoqian。

youderen，zaiqinmiguanxili，youshenmebumanyile，jibubiaodayebugoutong，jiudaizheyizhong“qingkaishinidebiaoyan”deyanshen，dengzheduifangdiaokeng。

yidanduifangdiaokengle，liketiaochulai，yongbutinglaorenyan，chikuizaiyanqiandetaidugaohan：“wogennishuoguoba，wozaojiuzhidao！”

第四个毁灭信使叫消极的沉默。

keyilijiewei“lengbaoli”，womenjingchangkandaoxiaohaiziouqibushuohua，huiqigugudezuozaiyipangpiezhezui，wulunshiqingshishenmeyuanyou，caiquxiaojideqingxubiaoxianfangshi。

bazheizhongjiaoliufangshizhuanyidaochengrenshenshang，nijiuzhidaoshenmeshixiaojidechenmole。

zheizhongfunengliangdebiaoxianwangwangshiyinweiduifangshuoletabuaitingdehua。tabuxuanzefanbohuozhebianjie，quezhixuanzebaohanleqifennuhuohesanfenweiqudechenmo。

sheidoukeyikandechutabugaoxing，ketabenrenjiushijueqiangdizuozaineili，sheiyebudali，jujuerenhejiaoliu，chengweishejiaochangshangyikuaiyouchouyouying、danyerangrenwufahushideshitou。

yishangsizhongjiaoliufangshishizaishejiaohuodongzhongzuirongyichuxian，bingqieyingxiangdajiabiciganshoudejiaoliufangshi。

nizijihuibuhuiyouyiwuyididaiyouyixiezheiyangdebiaodafengge？neijiuyidingyaoyueshuziji。zheixiebiaodafangshiniyongdeyueduo，duifangjiurangniniandeyueyuan。

neiwomengaizenmebanni？chuleziwoyueshuzhiwai，haiyoujigefangfa，keyibangzhunibimiandiaojinmaodundexuanwo。

shouxian，jiushishikejijiaoliubenshenzugoudeyouxianji。

yuqitashiqingxiangbi，jiaoliuzaijuedaduoshuqingkuangxia，douyinggaigengyouxian。jintianbunachushijianhaohaogoutong，mingtianyidingyaohuagengduoshijianhenhenchaojia。wulunshinayifangtichugoutongdexuqiu，lingyifangdouyoubiyaojinjisuonengjinkuaijinrudaogoutongdezhuangtaizhong，qingtinghetantaoqinmiguanxizhonglingyifangdexuqiu。

youhenduorenxiangdangrandirenweizheishiyijianzijiyijingzuodehenhaodeshiqing，danshishishishangwomenjuedaduoshurenzaizheiyidianshangrengranyouhendadegaishankongjian。

qici，weibiyaokendingduifangdeguandian，danyidingyaorenkeduifangguandiancunzaihelixing。

zaigoutongdeguochengzhongzongshinanmianhuiyoufenqi，nvxingxiangyaoguangjieernanxinggengxihuanchuizhekongdiao、hezhekeledawangzherongyao。

womenkeyibupeizheduifangguangjiehuozhekanqiusai，danyebunengjiecirenweiguangjiejiushixiahuaqian，huozherenweikanqiusaijiushilangfeishijian。

womenkeyiduiduifangdeguandianchibaoliuyijian，danshibunengjinjinyinweitarentongzijideyijianbutongyijiufourentaren。

gongqingnengliyouxiudefuqihunyinmanyidugenggao，ergongqingnengligaodedianxingbiaoxianjiushishanyuzhanzaitarendejiaodukandaiwenti，jinerlijietarendexiangfa。

xintaixuejiakedekedeyanjiuzhengmingle，buyuanfenxiangzishennengliderengengrongyixianrulihundekunjing。

zheiqishihenhaolijie，womentoushendaoyansudeqinmiguanxizhong，danruguobuzhengqian、buzuojiawu、budaihaizi、bulangman、zishenyebingmeishenmedutedexiyinli，zheihenrongyiyinqibanlvdebukuai。

zaixinrenqinglvzhizhongyeyiyang，qinggantouziduoshaodoushixuyaohuibaode，ruguoyifangzaibuduandifuchushijian、tili、jinglishenzhimingshengheqitagengzhongyaodeziyuan，tongshiyoubunengdedaorenheyoujiazhidehuibao，weixizheiduanaiqingziranjiubiandehenkunnan。

zuihou，jiusuanbicijianyijinghenshule，yerengranyaoyongjijidecihuitichuyaoqiu。yinweijiusuanyijingchengweilianren，renmenyegengxihuanlianghaodetaidu，shuxibenshenbuyingdangchengweibulimao、bukeqideyuanyin。

womenchangshuoxiangjingrubin，bingbushixuweizuozuo，gengduodehaishiyaoqiangdiaoyurenweishan。qiaqiayinweiduifangshinishengmingzhonghenzhongyaodegeti，suoyicaigengyingdangyilixiangdai，xiaolianxiangying。

neishenmeshijijicihuini？zuidianxingdejijicihui，qishikenengzaiyoueryuanlimianjiujiaoguole——xiexie，qing，duibuqi，meiguanxi。

文|陈潮威