导师精选：聪明女人是怎么获取话语权的

zaiyiduanganqingzhongzhangkonghuayuquanyinggaishimeigenvrendouxiangyaode。qianbujiu，yougenvshenghewoliaotianshitandaozijidenanpengyou，tayoudiannanguoshuo：

“wojuedewohenanpengyouzaiyiqishihaobeiwei，tapiqihenbaozao，haiyoubaoliqingxiang。

womenzaiyiqideshihou，woduitadehao，taconglaidoubudangyihuishi，danzhiyaowoshuocuoleyigezi，zuolebushuntaxindeshiqing，tajiuhuiyongshouzhizhewofapiqi。

gangkaishishi，wohuaiyouyikeshengmudexin，juedezhiyaowoduitahao，tazonghuitihuidaowodehao，huiweilewozuogaibian。

wohetazaiyiqiyinianbanle，tayidiandoumeigaibian，haishiduiwoyizhiqishide，fandaoshiwohuodepibeibukan。zaiqijiantahaidongshoudalewoliangci，henhendeneizhong。

zuotianwomenwanshangyouchaojiale，jiuyinweitahewoshuo，yougenvshengxihuanta。wojiuwentashizenmezhidaode，tajiujuedewobugaiwen，zhiyaozhidaoyourenxihuantajiuxingle，zhizewoganjuezaishuowobudongshiyounaoshiqing。

woqikule，juedetebieweiqu，woconglaimeiyouneimebeiweiduiyigerenhaoguo，wogaibugaijianchixiaqu?

wojuedewohaolei，keshiwobushedeta，erqieyijingfuchuleneimeduo，zongjuedezaijianchiyixiaxia，huoxutajiuhuibianhaoleni。”

congzheigenvshengdemiaoshulikeyikandaotashiruhebeiwei，yijiweishenmehuizheimebeiweide。

如何卑微应该不难看出来：

1、duifanghenhendaletaliangcidoubulikai——zheishihenyanzhongdejiabaoxingweia，douhaimeijiehunjiukaishijiabaole，jiehunlehaidelea，tounaoqingxingdenvrendoubuyinggairangzijixianzaizheizhongkunjingle，rangzijijintuibude。

zheiwanquanyingleyijuhua“beiaiqingchonghunletounaodenvrendoushibuqingxingde”，danzheizhendeshiaiqingma?

2、zheigenanshenggongranzaizijinvpengyoumianqiantiqibiedenvshengxihuanziji，haibuxuwen。

henmingxianzheinanrenjiushizaixianbaiziji，gaosunvshengzijishihenyoumeilide，waimianhenduorenxihuan。wanquanbuzainvshengdeganshou，tongshiyebuhaipanvshenghuilikaiziji，yinweinanshengyijingganshoudaonvshenghenyilaiziji，buguanzijizenmeduidainvshengdoubuhuishengqi。

huanjuhuajiangjiushi：nanshengzaizheiduanguanxizhongyongyoulejueduidezhudongquan。

3、nvshengzhiyaoyouyidianbushunzhenanshengdeyijiuhuibeizhizhema，pingshibeiyizhiqishide，mingmingshiduifangdecuo，queyaoshuoshinvshengzaigaoshiqing，zheinalishinvpengyou?

zheiduanguanxilisuobiaoxianchulaidegejuwanquanshibuduideng!

congnvshengdemiaoshuzhongfaxianlezheimeyigewenti：nvshengyizhimeiyouti “jiuzheigewentiruheheduifanggoutong”，erqiehaishiduifangyuema，tajiuhaishiduiduifanghenhao，fanerhaishuo“wojuedezhiyaowoduitahao，tajiuhuiweilewogaibiande”。

女生的沟通方式就是：“你对我坏，我对你更好。”

zheijiushibeiweidaojizhidebenzhi，yonggezhongfangshigaosubieren：“nimeiyoudixian”“wulunnizenmeduiwo，wodouwusuowei”，yizhirenshouzaiganqingzhongdedigeju，didaolechenaili，gejudidaolechenailikebushishenmehaoshiqinga。

zhangailingjiushiaiqinglibeiweidaochenailidenvren，yongzijideqianjinanrenquyangdisanzhe，tashuoguozheimeyijuhua：zainimianqianwobiandehendihendihendi，didaochenaili，danzaiwodexinlishixihuande。

zheishicongchenailikaichuhualai，nengyouzheiyangde“juewu”，nanrennenggongranyangdisanzheyeshilisuodangrandeba。

ruguonijuedezhangailingzheizhongdidaochenailideaiqingshixingfude，neiwoyewuhuakeshuole。

dabufendeaiqingdoushishijunlidide，jueduidehuayuquanhuilingrenfaweiqierongyichanshengyanjuan。suiranbuyidingshishijunlidideaiqingcainengyoujieguo，danshishijunlidideaiqinghuigengjiaxingfu。

zaizuoshegongdezheiliangnianlai，woguanchalehenduodeqinglv、fuqi，faxianlianggerenzhijianxiangchudegejuwufeijiushiyixiadezheisanzhongqingkuang：

1、yaomeshiwomendequanlida，chuyuguanxizhongdegaogeju;

2、yaomeshibicijiandequanlichabuduo，banjinbaliangde，gejupingdeng;

3、yaomejiushiwomenchuzaiguanxizhongdedigeju，henshibeidong。

 danshi，zaixianshishenghuozhong，daduoshuderendoukewangzijinenggouzhangkongjumian，chuyuguanxidelingdaodiwei，yejiushirangduifangbaiyibaishun。

henduorenrenweiganqingzhongdehuayuquanshicongchaojiadouzhengzhonghuosheng，chaoyinglejiuduodehuayuquan，qishibingbushizheiyangde。

qipashuoliyouyiqibiantitaolundetimushi：ganqingzhongyoumeiyoushuying?

yourenshuo：aishangyigerendeshihouqishijiuyijingshule;youfuchucaiyouhuibao;aibushuochukoujihuidoumeiyoudengdeng。

keshishishang，ganqingzhongdequanlidouzhengcongweitingzhiguo。

dangqinglvzaichaojiadeshihou，yibandoushizaizhengchaoshenmeni?bujiushixiangyaozhengmingwomenshidui，duifangshicuode，womenbiduifangqiangma?

dangyifangchaoyingledeshihou，jiuzhengminglezijidehuayuquan，zhengminglezijidequanwei，zhengminglezijibiduifanglihai。zheishiquanlidouzheng，yinxingdeshuyingjumian。

keshi，shaguniang，zheijiushiyinglema?yaozhidao，youdeshihouchaojiayingleweibijiuzhendeyingle，haikenengshuleganqing。

jiuxiangyouxienvrenzongshixiangyaoying，xiangyaonanrenhongziji，zhengmingzijidecunzaiganhejiazhi，biaoshizijidezhangkongquan，danshijianzhangle，nanrenyeleile，faxiantabingbushihenyuanyimeicidoulaihongziji。cishidenvrenhuijuedeneigenanrenhaoxiangbingmeiyouneimeaiziji，nanrenzejuedenvrenshibushitaizuole，neixinyoudianxiaojiujiule。

zheiyangkanxialai，nvrenzhangwoleganqingzhongdezhudongquan、huayuquanlema?bingmeiyou。zhiyaonanrenburenshu，buhongziji，bushuo“woaini”，nijiushengqile，zheishijishangshinanrenzaizhangkongzhenvrendeqingxu，tacaishineigezaibuzhibujuezhongzhangwolehuayuquandeneigeren。

huayuquandezhangkongbushizheiyangde，bushisheichaoyinglesheijiuquanlidale，bushisheixianditousheijiushule。bushizheiyangquhengliangde，zheiyangfenfenzhonghuibaganqingyedajinqu。

《satiyajiatingzhiliaomoshi》lizheimejiangdao：renhebupingdenggejulidedizitai，doujiangqianfangbaijipinghengzijidegeju，erbushikaochaojialaitisheng。

congmingdenvrenzhidaozaiyiduanjiankangchijiudeguanxilizenmehuoquhuayuquan，gengshizhidaozaihuoquhuayuquandetongshi，haiyaodongdeshijunlidi;zaixianghuzhichihechengquanshiyaoxuehui“gongxiangquanli”，quanlijunhengle，cainengrangganqinggengjiachijiu。

qishigongxiangquanli，caishisanzhonggejuzhongzuishizhong、zuishufudezhuangtai。

erqiewomenhaikeyiguanchadao，neixieenairuchudefuqipingrilixiangchufangshizhengshigongxiangquanli，bicizunzhong，sheiyebuyazheshei。gejupingdeng，quanlixiangdang，xianghuzunzhonglijie，erbushiyigerenduilingyigerenlisuodangrandesuoquheyaoqiu，shenzhidaya。

neime，shuangfangruhecainengshixiangongxiangquanlini?

01、主动承认和接纳当下的格局

guanxidekaishi，gejujiuyijingxingchengle，ruguowomenshigaopan，huozheqiongzhuibushecaidedaoduifang，neimewomendequanliheyingxianglijiuxiangduijiaoxiao，rongyibeiduifangqianzhebizizou。tadeyiyanyixingjiunengyinfawomendexinganerzhandou，erwomenquehennanyingxiangdaoduifang。

suoyihenduogaopanhedaozhuideren，jingchanghuiyouyizhongbubeizhongshihebubeizaihudeganshou。zheizhonggejusuiranbupingdeng，danwangwangshinengjiangguanxidiaozhengweipingdenggejude。

danzuilingrenkepadequeshi，ruoshideyifangbingbuchengrenjienadangxiadegeju，zongshixuzhangshengshi。

zheiyeshiwomenzuichangjiandaodeganqingweiji，duifangmingmingzhanzhudaodiwei，xiangyougejudeyoushi，danruoshideyifangzongbuyuanchengren，shenzhishituyongfenshoulaishitan、weixieduifang。

02、给这段关系找一个支撑点

zheigeshihou，womenyaojizheiduanguanxizhaoyigepinghengdian，duifanghaimeiyouduizijitiqizugoudexingqu，heduifangxiangyaojinyibudexinsishi，zaizhongjianhuayitiaoxian，ranhouchangshibaqizhongdejuliyidiandiansuoduan。

danruguotaijiyujinbuhuozhebuganxingdong，zhihuirangduifangjuedetaimenglexiangtao，huozheshimeiyouganjuedaojinyibudexiwang。

bijingmeigerenzuichuxindiduiyuturanchuangjinderenshibaochijiebeide，huiyoubennengdefanying，suoyizaichushideguochengzhongbuyaojizheheduifangjianligengshencengcidelianxi，ershiyaoxunxujianjin，rangduifangmanmanshiyingnidechuangru，zheiyangwenhedefangshihuirangbicideguanxiyuelaiyuemoqi。

03、价值与需求平衡

womenchangshuo，tanlianaijiushilianggerenjiazhipipeiyujingshenqihedeguocheng。erlianggerendejiazhijuedinglelianggerendejibengeju。

dannenggouyingxianggejudelingyigegenbenxingyinsushiwomenduibanlvdexuqiugan，yibanxuqiuganyuegaoshi，gejujiuyuedi。huanjuhualaijiangjiushi：sheigengxiangyaozheiduanganqing，sheijiudejieshoudiweigengdidexianshi。

 birushangmiangushizhong，neigenvshenghenanpengyouzaiyiqideshihou，nvshengjuedezijishijianlebao，zhanlebianyi，neiduitaduizheiduanguanxidexuqiuganjiuhuihendi，shenzhigengyilaizheiduanguanxile。

ruguowomengengyilaizheiduanguanxi，neimewomendehuayuquanheyingxianglijiuhuidadazhekou。

jiuxiangneigenvshengzaiguanxilijiumeiyouanquangan，meiyibudourulvbobing，yinweitahaipa，haipazijishuocuoyijuhua，nanpengyoujiuhuishengqihuozhebulita;haipazijizuocuoyidiandiannanpengyoujiuhuilikaita。gezhongbuanquanhaipachongchizhetadequanbu。

conggushizhonglaifenxixuqiuganhejiazhizhijiandeguanxi，dajiaxinliyinggaiyougexiaosuanpanle。

ruguowomendejiazhididanyougaopanleduifang，neimeduifangduiyuwomenlaijiangjiuyouweizhenguile，womenjiuyidinghuibiaoxianchuqiangliedexuqiugan，congershiquleguanxidezhudaoquan。

danruguowomendejiazhibenshenjiugao，jiubuyidinghuibiaoxianchuqiangliedexuqiugan，yinweiwomennengshixianzijizizu。zheixiejiazhiyibantixianzaiwaixingwaimao、wuzhitiaojian、shehuiziyuan、qingxujiazhi、dulishenghuodenenglidengfangmian。

ruguowomenzhanshichulaidejiazhi，nenggoubaduifangxuqiumanzudaohenjingxidedibushi，neimetahuijuedegenbierenxiangchuyimiaodoushilangfei，dangtaduiwomendeyilaichengduhengaoshi，zheishiwomenjiunengzhangwoguanxidezhudaoquan。

suoyi，dangguanxishihengdeshihou，womenyaozuodebushixunqiu“shu”decengmian，zheigeshihoushenmehuashua、shenmexiaoxinsi、yuqingguzongdengdengdexiaobaxi，zaiduifangkanlaidouzhishitiaoliangxiaochoubale，meiyourenhedezuoyong。

womennengzuodeshiyaocongbenzhicengmianzhuigensuyuan，shishizaizaiditishengzijidejiazhi，dangwomendejiazhitishengle，qiguxiangdangcaiyoujihuiduoquhuayuquan，pinghenglianggerenzhijiandeguanxi。