冷眼观爱：同居太久难以迈向婚姻

　　huaiyunfaxianlaogongchuguicongmingzuofa，huaiyunshiyigemeihaoerrangrenqidaideyike，danshi，dangqizizaihuaiyundeshihouyiwaifaxianlezhangfudechugui，shierbiandefuzaerrangrentongchu。danshi，jingmingdeqizilejie，tafanyingduitahetaweichushengdebaobaoweilaidefazhanyouweizhongyao。tayebuhuishenxianqingxugudi，fanershilixingfenxixingshi，bingzhidingcongminghewanshandexingweilaichulizheiyijinjishijian。genjuhenmingquedegoutong、xunqiujishuzhuanyezhichihebaochilengjing，tajizijihehaizidejianglaiguapingleyitiaojijizhudongdelumian。zheiyijingmingdezuofajiangbangzhutayingjietiaozhanjinerzhaodaoxingfuhediaojie。

　　yunqizheiyimeihaodeshishikeke，benlaiyinggaishifuqijianyitongyingjiexinshengmingdekuaileshishikeke。danshi，dangqizihuaiyunzaoqiouranfaxianlezhangfudechugui，tayixiazixianrumimanghexintengdangzhong。mianduizheiyangdecubujifangdechongjixing，taxuyaolengjingfenxibingzhidingjingmingdezuofa，yifangzhijinyibushanghaihuihuai。

　　1. 寻求客观适用

　　huaiyunfaxianlaogongchuguicongmingzuofa，zaiqizihuozhizhangfuwaiyuxiaoxideshihou，tasuoxudediyigexingweishixunqiulizhideshiyong。zheiyangkeyishihexinlaidepengyouhuozhejiashugoutongjiaoliu，huoshicanyugengzhuanyedezixun。genjuyubierengongxiangtadejiongjingheqinggan，huodelizhidetiyiheyijian，qizikeyigenghaodilejieyuchulizijidexinqing。zheizhongshiyongbudanrangtajuedekuanwei，hainengbangzhutasisuoxiayibudexingdongjihua。

　　2. 思索与理解

　　dangyoushangfennumanmanguoqushi，qizibixulizhidisisuoyulijiezheiyifajue。tanengsikaohunyinzhongdewentiyubuzu，tongshihaiyaoyishidaolezhangfudewaiyuhezijibuxianggan。tongguozheizhongsisuo，qizikeyigenghaodelejiezijiguandianhejingshenxuqiu，ranhouzhaodaoxiamianyuzhangfukaizhangoutonghejiejuewentigengqiangfangfa。

　　3. 保持冷静的沟通

　　zaiquedingyuzhangfujinxingjiaoliuyiqian，qizibixujingxiaxinlaibingbaochilengjing。takeyikaolvyigeshidushijianhedidian，weihuihuachuangzaoyigeanquanziranhuanjing。zaigoutonghuanjiezhong，qizinenggoubiaoshuduifangdeganshouheyijian，tongshihaiyaolingtingzhangfudemiaoshuhejianyi。suiranxintaizaisuonanmianbodong，danqiziyaojiejinquanlibaochilengjinghekeguan，rangbicideduitankeyigengyouxiaolvyuyouquanjuxing。

　　4. 寻求技术专业协助

　　yingduizhangfuwaiyudezhuangkuang，qizihenyoukenengxuyaoyidingdehunyinzixunshihuoxinlizixunshidezhichi。tamengongzuojingyanfengfuyujiqiao，nenggoubangzhuqizihezhangfujinxinggengshencengcidegoutongyuchuliqingxu。tongguozhuanyezhidaoyujianyi，qizikeyigenghaodilejieyuchulihunyinzhongdewenti，bingweiyihouzuochujueceguanlijuece。

　　5. 保护自己跟孩子

　　dangmianduizhangfuwaiyudeqingxingxia，qizibixubaohuzijiyuhaizideliyi。zheijiangbaokuofalvzixunfuwuyuxingwei，yibaozhengtayuhaizidecaichanhehefaliyiweihu。yucitongshi，tabixupingdinghunyinshenghuodezhuangkuangheshichangqianjing，zunzhaozijineixinhesixiang，zuochuzuilixiangdeguanlijuece，bulunshijieshuhunyinhuoshixunqiuhunyinshenghuofujiandegailv。

　　huaiyunfaxianlaogongchuguicongmingzuofa，yunqifajuezhangfuchuguishirangrentongkuyuyihuodeqinshenjingli，danjingmingdeqizilejie，taxingweishisuzaoweilaideguanjiansuozai。genjuxunqiushiyong、lejiezijideqingxuyaoqiu、baochilengjingdegoutong、xunqiujishuzhuanyexiezhujiqibaohuzijiyuhaizideliyi，tanengmanmanjiejuejiongjing，jizijigenhaizijianliyigegengjijiyujiankangweilaidefazhan。jiarubuduanmianduikunjing，qiziyingdangjilaoyinggaixiangzheiyitiyiyiyangmingzhidijiejue，xunzhaochushihezishenyujiatingjiejuefangan。