发现对方出轨后，最应该马上做这几件事！

tanjichugui，jiuxiangtanjirenmendexintouci。taxiangyipianzhaoze，rangrenwulituoshen，yueshixiangyaochouli，queyoushenxiandeyuekuai。

 xiaofenjiuganggangjinglilezheiyangdeshijian。xiaofenhelaogongxiaowenjiehunbanian，xiaowenduitadezhaoguwuweibuzhi，zaipengyoumenyanzhong，xiaowengengshigongrendehaolaogong。

kejiushizheiyangdeta，quechuguile。

 duiyuzijiderenshengxianzhuang，duozhongtongkudeqingxuzaixiaofendeshentililaihuibaozha。zuihouzhishengxiashenshendedijiazhiganhewuligan，rangxiaofenzaishenghuozhonghuixinlengdan，yewulidongdan。

 huiyiqiguoquhexiaowendediandiandidi，buduandizizeheziwohuaiyikounaozhexiaofendexin：“shibushiwobugouhao，suoyitacaichuguizhaobiedenvren?”

nanrenchuguidailaide，“wobugouhao”deshashanglishijudade，tarangwomenganjuedao，womenzhenggerendoushoudaolefouding。

qishi，banlvchuguizhendebushiyinweinibugouhao，ershiyinweiwomenxinzhongdeyigecuowudejiazhixinnianzaizuosui。

womenjiangzijidejiazhigan，wanquanyuduifangduidaiwomendeganqingbangdingdaoleyiqi，suoyiwomenzaiganqingzhongwanquanxianrulebeidong。

yinwei，dangduifangduiwomendeganqingfashengbianhuashi，womenjiuhuishenshenhuaiyizijidejiazhi。

mianduibanlvchuguihedijiazhideshuangzhongshouchuang，womenyinggairuhebawojiexialaideshenghuo，zouchumuqiandekunjuni?

01

和对方谈谈对这段婚姻的看法

lengjingzuoxialaiyuduifangjinxingtanyitan，lejietaduizheiduanhunyindekanfa。

cishidetanlunbingbushiweiletaolunchujiejueshiqingdefangan，ershikanqingleisizheiyangdewenti：

(1)womenhunyinzhongdeshenmewentikenengyubanlvchuguiyouguan?

(2)womendexianzhuangruhe?haiyouduoshaofenxinren?

(3)womendeguanxizenmele?

renmenjiyuzuojueding，wangwangshirenwei，ruguozijizaibuzuojueding，duifanghuibuhuirenweizijibuzaihuhuotaizaihuzheiduanganqing?

zaibujueding，wohaiyaozaizheipianheianzhongtongkuduojiu，wowulichengshou!

qishicishidejiujieyijingjiuyijinggaosulezijidaan——buyaozuojueding。

“daodishiwozuichujiukancuoleren，haishiwomendegoutongchulewenti?huozheshiwozijizuocuoleshiquebuzhidao?”

zainongqingzheixiewentizhiqian，womendejuedingqishizhishiquanpingyunqieryi。

ruguobuqingchuliangrendehunyinjiujingfashengleshenme，zheishihouzuibuyinggaidejiushizuojueding。

zijideneixinhaimeiyoupingfu，rengfanyongzhegezhongqingxu，zheishihoujiyuzuojueding，jiuwufabimianxiacihaihuidiaojinkengli。

buguanliangrendehunyinshifenshihe，douyiranshenxianzaizhiqiandemoshizhong。

shenghuofangshicongweigaibian，tahaihuiyanguoqudeguidao，jixuzhongbozhiqiandegushi。

liangrendeguanximingmingchulewenti，quebuduanhuibiyiciyouyicidemangranyufennu，zhishiyanerdaoling。

02

拿回我们原有的力量感

duiyuyizhiyijuebuzhendexiaofen，guimiwenzideyijuhua，jizhongletadexin：“nizhenzhenghaipadeshishenme?”

 zaizheigekongjudeyuantou，xiaofenkandaoleyigexiaonvhai，gulinglingdeyigerenzhanzaijiazhong。manyandoushiyihuo——mamaqunaerleni?

daolediertianmamayemeiyouhuilai，zhidaoxiaofenjianjianzhangda，kaishimingbailemuqinlikailezijideshishi。

 chengnianhoudexiaofen，meiyourenhuizaitiqineigemuqinxiaoshiledexiawu。xiaofenhaoxiangguoshangleyizhongshiyideshenghuo——tabuyongmianduizijidewuligan。

danshilingyibandechugui，jiuxiangsikailezheigezangleduoniandeshangkou。

youyizhonggengshendexinnianzaishuo：“woshibubeiaide，woshibuzhidebeiaide!”

juedezijibubeiai，buzhidebeiai，womenjiugengjiaxiangtongguobanlvlaizhengmingzijizhidebeiai。

 erbuduantaobizijixinzhongqueshidelilianggan，jiangjiazhiganlaolaodebangdingzailingyigerenduiwomendeqingganzhong，quehuilaolaodeboduowomendelilianggan。

yinweiyidanduifangduiwomendeganqingfashenggaibian，womenjiuhuichanshengjuliedeziwohuaiyi。

zijidexinzhongduiaigandaokuifa，womenyejiugengnanyixiyindaobierendeai。

 youyiweinvxingzaizishuzhongshuo：“wohenshaoganshoudaobierenaiwodetiyan。woxinzhongdeyingxiongshipilijiaowa、chaonengnvxia，danshiwozhangdebingbuxiangtamen，zhidaowoaishanglezijikafeisedepifu，houshideshuangchunhebaomandeyuantun，zheishijiecaikaishiaiwo。”

chali·hadeershuo：“xiangyaohuodeai，jiuyaorangxinzhongtianmanai，zhidaoxiangyikuaixiyinaidecitieyiyang。”

aizheizhongdongxi，jiuxiangyikoushuijing。buhuiyuejiyueshao，ershiyuejiyueduo，

changshikaishixiechuzijideyigeyoudian，ranhoukaishimanmanfaxianzijigengduodeyoudian。

 qugengduodexinshangzijikeaidedifang，rangxinzhongtianmanai，huizhujianfaxianaidepinlvhuiyuelaiyueduode，jiuxiangyikecitieyiyangjiangzijibaowei。

03

摆脱受害者模式

dangzaoyubanlvchuguishi，womenshenxianbaonu、tongkuhejusangzheixieqingxudexuanwozhong。

womenyiweineiyikeqingxujiudaibiaoneiyikedeziji，suoyirenyouzhezheixieqingxuzhuzaiwomenzuochugezhonggeyangdexingwei。

womenhaipaxianruxinzhongdeneiyifenwuligan，beitazhuzai，yinciwomenyejiugengnanyiqumianduizheiyangyifenganjue。

 qishi，dangwomendejiazhiganbeibanlvdechuguidasuishi，womenzuixuyaozuode，jiushilaolaoshishidichengrenxinzhongzheifenwulideganjue。

yinweimiandui，yiweizheyaofangtazou。buzaiyongyayi、dikangjiangtaguanxinzijixinlidexiaoheiwu，ershirangtazhongjianyangguang。

 kankancishizijixinzhongdexiangfa：“wojuedexianzaizijizhendehencuiruowuli，wohaipabierenjinhoukanwodeyanguang;meiyousheihuizaiyiwodenanguo;zheiyangdezijizhendehenshibai，yidianyebunengzhangkongzijiderensheng。”

guanzhaozijicikedeqingxu，tazhishixiangyitiaoshuiliubandecunzai，chuansuozaizaiwomenshentideguandaozhong，huilaiyehuiqu。

buquyayihedikang，danshiyebuqurentongta，burangtachengweiziji。

jiuxiangyipianyunduodejusan，qingxuhuizirandexiaozhang、sanqu。

 dangwomenzhenzhengpingjingxialaizhihou，huijuede：zheigenvrenqiangzoulewodezhangfu，rangwoxianzaizheimetongku。zuikeqideshihaiqianxialezheimeduodeqian，wozhendeshoubulezheigewuyanzhangqidejiale，wobuyinggaishoudaozheimebugongpingdedaiyu。

zheishi，qingxiantingxiazijidebaoyuan。

yexuwomenxianzaiganjuezijideyiqiedouzaotoule，duiyihoudeshenghuodouwunengweili。

zheigebingfeixianzaideziji，ershiguoqudezijisuosisuoxingdejieguo。

zheishiguoqudeni，ruguoniyongzheigelaidingyiziji，weilaijiangbuhuiyourenhebutong。

buduandebaoyuan，daizaishouhaizhemoshizhong，womenhuijuedehenshufu，zheiyiweizhewomenshenmeyebuyonggan。

 shiduifangchuguile，shiduifangmeiyouzunshouchengnuo，shiduifang，meiyouzhaoguhaowomendeganqing，suoyiyinggaishiduifanglaifuze，yinggaishiduifanglaimibuzheiduanguanxi。

 danshiwomenxuyaomingbai：yiduanguanxideposuibingfeishiourande，ershizaoyouduannihebotaoxiongyong。mingmingwomenyicicidemangran、maodunhefennu，queyicicidexuanzelemamuyutaobi。

chuguishiguoquhunyinwentideyigejieguo，erfeiyiqiedeyuanyin。

chuguiqueshishiduifangdecuo，danshiwomenyeyaofuqizeren。

 weizijideshengmingheshenghuofuze。zhiyouyongzheifenxinxinheyongqilaimianduizijirenshengdeketi，zaizheigeshijianzhongkanqingzijidewenti，cainengbimianyongxiangtongdemoshizhongyanxiangtongdejingli。

 duiyuxianzaidehunyin，ruguoneixinshenchuhaishiwufageshezheiduanguanxi，xiangjixuzouxiaqu，neijiujiezhuzheiduanguanxihaohaozuozijidegongke。

 dangwomendeneixinzhendejingyouzheiduanguanxi，kanqinglezijidegongkehou。ruguoxuanzelikaizheiduanguanxi，yonggandemianduiweizhideshenghuo，yeshihenhaodeyizhongxuanze。

zheizhongfenkai，yehuizaiweilaidechengzhangzhongrangwomenmanmanhuodeliliang。