导师精选：主持人张大大疑患痛苦症：情绪不好时，该怎么办？

2019nian12yue14rideshenye，zhuchirenzhangdadafaleyitiaoyihuantongkuzhengdeweibo：

 “tongkuzheng”zheicizaiwomenshenbianchuxiandecishuyuefapinfan，jinniancong8yuefendeyulequanrezhayizipu“zhongdutongku+zhongdujiaolv”，dao10yuefenhongdongyulequandehanxingcuixueli、juhelayinwei“tongkuzheng”liwomenerqu，zaidaoxianzaidezhuchirenzhangdadafawen“bunengbeitongkujidabai”，bingjiangtouxianghuanchenglequanhei，yisihuanyoutongkuzheng，zheicihaoxiangjiumeiyoucongwomendeshiyezhongxiaotingguo。

 churenyiliaodeshi，womenkandaolezhangdadaziputongkuzhenghou，dazhongdefanyingshiyibiandao，shenzhishizhiyizaina“tongku”laichaozuo，zuowenzhang。

 zhangdadadetongkuzhengzanqieweizhengshi，danbukefourendeshi：zaizheigeshehuishangshenghuo，meigerendouyouzhebutongdeshenghuofangshi，xiangtongdeshimeigerendouhuiyouzhezijideyali。

 youyuchengzhangdehuanjing、jieshoudejiaoyu、waijiedeyingxiang、chengshoudenengli、biaodadefangshidengdengdebuyiyang，suochengshoudeyaliyebuyiyang，aoguolaile，shihuaileyejiuhuanjiele，aobuguojiuhuikunzaisihutonglizhuanquanquanchubulai。

ertongkuzhenghenduoshihouyinweiqingxudiaojiedebuqiadangerdaozhizoupian，congzheinengkanchulairendeziwoqingxudiaojienengliyouduozhongyaole？

jushijieweishengzuzhibaogao2019nian9yue29rizhichu：tongkuzhengweilaijiangchengzhicanyouyin。

报告里还提到：

 xintaiwentizaiquanshijiedaozhile12%dejibing，46%dejibingdouyutongkuzhengzhijiexiangguan。muqianquanshijieyou3.5yirenshoudaotongkuzhengkunrao，woguozhanyou9000wan，meinianpingjunyoudayue20wanrenyintongkuzhengzisha。

 zaiwoguotongkuzhengdejiuzhenlvjin4%，haiweibeidangchengjibinglaikandai，neiyejiushishuo，you90%detongkuzhenghuanzhegenbenjiumeiyouzhiliaoguo，congerdaozhile15%dehuanzhezhibenzishadejieju。

womendeshengmingrucizhengui，rucimei！womendeshenghuozheimexuanliduocai，zennengbeitongkuzhengdabaini？

suirantongkuzhengbunengbeiwanquangenzhi，dankeyi“beihuanjie”，haineng“fanghuanweiran”。

 jintiandewenzhangbushigaosudajiatongkuzhenggaizenmezhiliao，dangranruguozhendeyaowen，wozhinengshuo“xunzhaozhuanyerenshi，jinxingzhuanyedezhiliao！”jintianhedajiafenxiangdeshiwomenzenmediaojiezijideqingxu，baochiyuyuedexinqing，“yufangtongkuzheng”！

01

不要总把心情不好当痛苦

xianzaiyuelaiyueduoderendongbudongjiushuozijihuanyoutongkuzhengle。

xinqingbuhao，huaiyizijitongkule；

shiyubuzhen，huaiyizijitongkule；

bubeilijiehennanshou，huaiyiziji“beitongkule”；

wanshangshuimianzhiliangbuhao，huaiyizijitongkule。

juedezheixiedoushi“tongkuzhengdebiaozheng”，zijijizijiduandingletongku。

 bushizheiyangde，tongkuzhengbingbushizheiyangde，tongkuzhengshiyaodaozhuanyedejigoujinxingzhenduan，dengyishengdepanding，erbushizijirenwei。zheizhongzijirenweihuirangzijibenlaimeishi，yanbianchengzhendele，tongshiyerangzijixianjinletongkudezhaozelipabushanglai。

 womenyaofenqingchutongkuqingxuhetongkuzhengdequbie，tongkuqingxushiwomensuoshuode“jiatongku”，shiyicixing、duanqishijianneichuxiandezhengzhuang。

 yiqianzuozixundeshihou，changchanghuiyourenxiangwoxunwen，zijideletongkuzheng，gaizenmeban？houlaicaizhidao，tashiyinweiganghuanlexingongzuo，daolexinhuanjingzhongbutaishiying，daozhigongzuoburuyi，xinqingbuhao，bianjuedezijihuanyouletongkuzheng，yufajiaolv。

zaishehuizheigedahuanjingxiashenghuo，meigerenduoduoshaoshaodouhuijieshoudaowaijieyixiebuhaodexinxi：

zaigongsibeilaobanpiping、hetongshibuhe，xinqingbuhao；

zaijialibubeifumulijie，xinqingbuhao；

zaiganqingzhonghebanlvchaojiaganqingbuhao；

yudaoleshenglaobingsi，tianzairenhuo，xinqingbuhao；

……

zheijiushiwomenshuodetongkuqingxu，bingbushi「tongkuzheng」。

yaoshizaiyudaonanguodeshiqingshimeiyouxiangyingdebeishangqingxu，caishixuyaozhuyide。

 dantongkuzhengbuyiyang，tadedingyiyehenkuanfan，tongchangshiyizhongchangjiandexintaizhangai，huiyouxianzhuerchijiudexinjingdiluo，zheiyuhuanjingchujingguanxibuda。zhengzhuangyanzhongzhehaihuichuxianzishadeniantouhexingwei。

 henduorenkanlewenzihuixiguanxingdewangzijishenshangtao，zheihenrongyipaopiandaoyibing，kenengbingmeiyouzheimeyanzhong。suoyiruguojuedezijijingshenzhuangtaibushishibuyaomaoranxiadingyi，yidingyaojishiqujingshenkezuoxiangxidejiance，zhiyoujingguoquanweiyishengdequezhenzhengmingcaikeyi。

02

这不是痛苦，只是情绪在操纵你

meizicengzheimeduiwoshuo：“woweishenmekanqilaizongshihenbukaixin，yuyuguahuande，danwoouerhuixiao。”

wogaosumeizi：“nizheibushitongku，nizhishiyoutongkuqingxu，neixietongkuhuanzhexiaoqilaidouhenjuewang。”

yourenyecengwenguowoweishenmewomeitiandouhaoxianghenkaixinyiyang？

 bukefouren，yaoshimeiyoushenmechaojidadeshiqing，wohuijiangmeitiandouguodehenkaixin，yinweizheikaixinshiwojizijishedingdekaixin，womendekaixinkeyizijijizijide，zheishiwozijidechulaideyidianxiaojingyan。

1、jizijidexin“zuojianfa”

zuijinwomenzongnengtingdaorenmenchangshuo，yaoguoduanjishenghuo“zuojianfa”。

比如：

 “yijulisaimanleyifu，danshikansimanmanyijuzideyifu，xihuanchuandequemeijijian，zheishiwomenjiuhuixianjinyigexuanzexingdekunju，yiduiyanhualiaoluandeyifubaizaiwomendemianqian，erwomenquebuzhidaozenmexuanze。

yincizaixuanzeshangwomenchichizuobulejueding，zheihuizhanjuwomentaiduodeshijian，haihuirangzijigandaojiaolvyuaonao。

 zheishiwomenkeyisheqiyixiewomenbuchangchuandeyiwu，tengchukongjian，jianshaoxuanzedeshijian，tigaolexiaolv，tongshinengrangzijigandaoqingsong。”

qishixinyeshiruci，cangyangjiacuodeshishizheiyangbiaodade：

 yigerenxuyaoyinzangduoshaomimi，cainengqiaomiaodiduguoyisheng，zheifoguangshanshandegaoyuan，sanbuliangbubianshitiantang，querengyouneimeduoren，yinxinshiguozhong，erzoubudongle。

zheishishuo，womendeyishengchengshouletaiduodongxi，xinlimailexuduodechennianjiushi，bazijiyadedouchuanbuguoqi。

ji“xinzuojianfa”keyishishizheimezuo。

anli：“yeshenle，woweishenmehaibuxiangshuijue？weishenmewoyaoaoyeneimewanshuini？”

wozongjiechulelianggefangmiandeyuanyin：

一是外界的诱惑。

 biruyouxiduiwodeyouhuo，xiangzheshuijueqiandapanyouxiba。yipandawanbangexiaoshiguoqule，zaidayipanba，yejiubanxiaoshi，ranhoulianggexiaoshiguoqule，yikanshijianlingchenliangdianle，juliqichuangshangbanhaiyou5gexiaoshi，zheishijiaolvganyouchulaile，xinqingyumenle。

二是压力。

 birushenghuodeyali、gongzuodeyali、zhengqiandeyali、jiaoyoudeyali，zijijizijishijiachaochunenglifanweideyalidengdeng。zheixiezhongzhongyizhichongchizaiwomenxinzhong，zhanyonglewomendexiuxi、shuimianshijian，zheijiuhuirangwomendeshenti、jiankangshoudaoleweixie。

zheishiwojiuhuiweilerangzijibaozhengshuimianshijian，jixinzuogejianfa，rangyuwang“duansheli”。

 xiangshounafangjianyiyang，bayuwangyijianyijiandecongxinlinachulai，wenwenziji，“shuiqiandayouxi”kebukexing，huiduizijizaochengshenmeyangdeyingxiang？

这时我会得出：

 shuiqiandayouxi，huirangdanaozhongxinxingfen，huidaogongzuoyunzhuandangzhong，yerongyishizijijiaolv，dengshuibuzhedeshihou，xinqinghuihenyayi，shuimianzhiliangmeiyoubanfabaozheng，diertiandezhuangtaihuicha，huiyingxiangdaogongzuojijixing，haiyanzhongpohuaileshentidezhengchangyunzhuan，jishentidailebutongchengdudeshanghai。

 zheiyangzijijiuhuizuochuxuanze，“shuiqiandayouxibukexing”，zheigeyuwangdediu，congxinlinachulai。gairengdereng，gaidiudediu，xinzhongyuwangyigedejianshao，liuxiadedoushimuqianzuizhengui，zuixuyaode。

 zheijiushijizijidexinzuojianfa，buyaoshituyonggezhongfansuo、beiyulaitianmanzijidexin，dangxinyoulekongjian，renjiuhuijianjiandiqingsong。

2、chengrenzijidebuwanmei，yunxushibai

minershiyigezhuiqiuwanmeideren，shishikekedouyaorangzijibaochizaidezhuangtai，juebuyunxuzijichuyidiandechacuo。

 youyitian，minerbeitongshizhichugongzuoshangdeshiwu，zheirangminermeiyoubanfajieshou，ganjuezijiyaobengkui，bangeyuetadouyuyuguahuan，ganjuezijishibai，chenjinzaishibaidetongkuxuanwozhongchubulai。

 minerdelizigaosulewo“wanmeibingbunengzuoweirenshengdezhongjimubiao，dangwomenguodudizhuiqiuxinzhongdewanmeishi，fanerhuijiangzijimishizaizhuiqiuwanmeidelushang，zuihouhuixiangmineryiyangyindabudaowanmeierxianruzaitongkudejingdizhongwufaziba。”

“wanmei”zheigeciduiyuwomenlaishuotaichenzhongle。

meiguoyiweixintaixuejiacengshuoguo：

 “tongkuzheng、jiaolvzheng、shimianzheng、qiangpozhenghuanzhe，wangwangdoushiyoubaofu、youchuangyi、zuoshifeichangrenzhenderen。ertamenquexianrulelianggezhimingdexintaiwuqu：qiyi，renweizijibixushiwanmeide；qier，renweizijibixushide。”

 youxierenzonghuihaipazijichucuo，zhengtiandoutixindiaodandeguorizi，chuchujinshenxiaoxin，shengpachuyidiandiandechachi，zheiyangderenshengzennengzhendejiankangkuaileni？

 ruoshiwomenbushishikeqiuwanmei，yunxuzijiouerfanxiecuowu，ouertougexiaolan，yunxuzijibuneimewanmei，gaosuzijiwomenshiyigefanren，keyixiangshoufanrendeyidianquanli，zheiyangwomendeshenghuohuiqingsonghenduo，qingsongle，renjiuhuikaixin、kuailele。

 womenbukeyidezhuiqiuwanmei，ershibamubiaodingzaixianjieduankeyirongyidacheng，nenggouzaiduanshijianneiganshoudaochenggongdailaidexiyuegan。

 ruruofancuo，gaosuzijimeiyouguanxi，womendoubushiwanren，buxuyaoshishikekebaochiwanmei，zhiyaojidexiacibuzaifantongyangdecuowujiuhao。

弗洛伊德说：

“ruguorenmennenggouduorongrenzijidebuwanmei，rizijiuhuihaoguodeduole”。

03

给自己设置“一键快乐”

 xiaochunshiyigeaixiaodeguniang，meidanghetakaojin，zonghuibeitadeyangguang、reqing、zhengnengliangjixiyinzhu，rangrenganjuexiaochunshanshanfaliang。

wowenxiaochun：“weishenmemeicijiannidouhenkaixin。”

xiaochunshuotahenxihuanyijuhua：aixiaoderenyunqibuhuicha。

queshi，aixiaoderen，neixinshenchuzongyouyimowennuan。

meitianchumenqian，duizhejingzilidezijixiaoyixiao，gaosuzijijintianhenbange！

 xiaochunyiqianbushiyigeaixiaodeguniang，tabuaijianghua、buailiaotian、buaixiao，yudajiaxiandeyoudiangegeburu。houlaixiaochunjuedezheiyangderizihennanao，meitiandoukaixinbuqilai，rifuyirinianfuyiniande，tahenxianmushenbianneixieshuoxiaojiuxiao，shuokujiukuderen。

xiaochunshuo：“bu，buxing，wobuxiangguozheiyangderizi，wodeshenghuobugaishizheiyangde。”

 xiaochunkaishimeitianchumenqiandouduizhejingzilidezijijiayoudaqi：“jintiandenihenbange！”bingjizijiyigedadadeweixiao，zheirangxiaochuncongchumendeneikeqi，xinqingjiubeidakai。

womendeshenghuo，kaixinyufou，qishidoushiwomenziji，womenxiangrangzijikaixinjiurangzijikaixin。

 dangwomenbaxinlideyuwangqinglicheng“jingpin”deshihou，neijiubuhuiyouneimeduofanxindeshiqing。gongzuo、shenghuozonghuiyouyali、zonghuiyoubushundeshihou，danwomenbuyaobazijikunsizaizheigehutongle。

 yaoshiwomentiantianzaixiang、zaibaoyuan“gongzizongbuzhang，shenghuoyaoguobuxiaqule”zheizhihuijizijizengjiafannaohetongkuqingxu，jirandouzheiyang，yichengshishi，hebujieshouzheigeshishi？jizijizhongxinpuluni？

shiyaotishengxianjieduandegongzuonenglihaishilingmouchulu，zheixiedoushijiejuewentidebanfa。

henduoshihoude“fanzao”shiyinweiwomenbuzhidaogaizenmechuli，quebuxiangsikaoyaozenmechuli，jiangzijidudesiside。

 jizijiduodiankuailedekongjianyushijian，gaosuziji，kaixinshizheiyangguo，bukaixinyeshizheiyangguo，neiwoweishenmebunengkaixindianni？xinqinghaole，riziyejiuhaoguole，renyejiukailangle。

 dangyoutongkuqingxuchuxiandeshihou，buyaohuang，gaosuziji：zheishizanshide，buhuipeibanwomentaijiu，zheibushitongku，buyaodanxin。

zongshiheiyetunshileyiqie，taiyanghaishikeyizhongxinhuilai，womendeshenghuoyijiuhuimeihaoruchu。

文|曾婷婷